tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-49641251667290806002024-02-20T18:07:27.402+00:002 + 2 = 5The written words of Karl James. A man for whom dialogue is far too important for his own good.Karl James - The Dialogue Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16843924483748865139noreply@blogger.comBlogger106125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4964125166729080600.post-74595394034441489562014-11-21T16:14:00.000+00:002014-11-27T09:07:07.217+00:00Visually Speaking<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“We inhabit an almost entirely visual world…”</span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white;">So began a talk I gave on </span><span style="color: orange;">Listening</span><span style="color: white;">. (Way back when.)</span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white;">And like a fool, I then proceeded to run a session that was full of stories, audio insights and clips of conversations. </span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Without a single piece of visual stimulation.</span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">The irony didn’t even occur to me. (Being an audio man.)<br /><br />These days, I hope I'm a tiny bit wiser. </span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">And I use </span><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">visuals</span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"> a lot. Simple images usually.</span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Images to prompt the imagination, to help the learning to stick. To give people a visual hook on which they can hang their understanding.</span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">I use </span><span style="color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">circles</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"> <span style="color: white;">a lot. Circles are my thing.</span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">For me, they represent so much that I think is important.</span></h2>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Circles are intrinsically democratic. They’re equal and balanced. They're interpretable. They don't have a particular point to make. </span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">And they can represent anything. Or anyone. </span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white;">You can imagine the </span><span style="color: lime;">purple</span><span style="color: white;"> one is you. </span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Or them.</span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">You can make the bigger one into the person you want to have a better conversation with. Your partner. Your boss. Your son. Or your daughter's teacher.</span></h2>
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<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">And if you see me talk live, you'll enjoy seeing the circles moving around the screen. </span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">(They're a delight to animate. Another plus.) </span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white;">So – circles are great at being </span><span style="color: cyan;">us</span><span style="color: white;">. </span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white;">But what about the things we </span><i><span style="color: orange;">do</span></i><span style="color: white;">? </span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white;">I've struggled for a while to illustrate the </span><span style="color: #ffd966;">10 core skills </span><span style="color: white;">that improve the way we talk, listen and journey our way through the conversations that count most. The ones we <i>need</i> to have. </span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white;">And after a long time and a lot of discarded sketches, flip-charts and Keynote presentations – and the incredibly useful prompt of having to write a book about the damn things – I <i>think</i> I've done it.</span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white;">I’ve come up with what I think are a series of useful, </span><span style="color: #e06666;">simple</span><span style="color: white;"> key visuals that help me to </span><i style="color: white;">show</i><span style="color: white;"> what I mean, as well as saying what I mean.</span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">(The book by the way came out earlier this year. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #eeeeee;">I’m not going to flog it on here. It’s a book to help people at work have better conversations. It’s called </span><span style="color: yellow;">Say It and Solve It</span><span style="color: #eeeeee;">. But this isn’t the right place to push things like that. For now, I'll just say it's a huge relief to have finished it. It took much longer than I thought it would. </span></span><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">I'm really proud of it. And I think it's genuinely possible it might help people to have those tricky conversations that come up at work.) </span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white;">But I will confess to having discovered something about myself by writing a book.</span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: normal;">Writing is </span><i style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: normal;">not</i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white;"> my </span><span style="color: #fff2cc;">natural</span><span style="color: white;"> form.</span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">I spoke about this a bit at the launch. If you're really interested, you can watch it here:</span></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Please don't </span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>say</i> anything to anyone about me not being a natural writer.</span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">It's a brilliant book. </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="color: white; font-weight: normal;">Obviously. </span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="color: white; font-weight: normal;">It's had some great </span></span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">reviews. It was even Business Book of the Month at WHSmiths. (Crazy times.) </span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white;">And anyone who works anywhere should </span><a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Say-It-Solve-business-conversations-ebook/dp/B00LLAESYW" target="_blank"><span style="color: lime;">buy</span></a><span style="color: white;"> it. </span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white;">But </span></span><span style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: normal;">damn</span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"> </span><span style="font-weight: normal;">it was a slog. </span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="color: white;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">More about that another time. </span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">For now, r</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="color: white;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">ather than tell you about the struggle I had writing stuff down rather than speaking it out loud, let me quickly share the series of icons I settled on as illustrations.</span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white;">I did wonder if I should </span><span style="color: #f9cb9c;">explain</span><span style="color: white;"> them all here, but if I have to do </span></span><i style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;">that</span></i><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">, they're not working. </span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">So let's see if you get them. </span></h2>
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<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">(I bet you do.) </span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">To begin with, one of the most crucial skills of all: </span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">(Absurd, to try and </span><span style="color: #9fc5e8; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">capture</span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"> something as rich as Listening in a single image.)</span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Next up, a much </span><span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">easier</span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"> one: </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white;"><br /></span><span style="color: white;">(If only all the skills were </span><i style="color: white;">this</i><span style="color: white;"> easy to </span><span style="color: orange;">visualise</span><span style="color: white;">.)</span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white;">Next, a more complex one: </span></span></h2>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV3e3b1GE4ODxl_0Db6rhhskdIh-oUmTiHFzGng9jEBn78EnDsG4nVaUx7Pdna5vKLVU3ooWqStDZuTnoYnmcFCp9E-AnFY4m3GV9m2ozNCsiamZGJa4HWJglwyzLHWgHFLvaVjKbapGM/s1600/Describe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><br /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV3e3b1GE4ODxl_0Db6rhhskdIh-oUmTiHFzGng9jEBn78EnDsG4nVaUx7Pdna5vKLVU3ooWqStDZuTnoYnmcFCp9E-AnFY4m3GV9m2ozNCsiamZGJa4HWJglwyzLHWgHFLvaVjKbapGM/s1600/Describe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV3e3b1GE4ODxl_0Db6rhhskdIh-oUmTiHFzGng9jEBn78EnDsG4nVaUx7Pdna5vKLVU3ooWqStDZuTnoYnmcFCp9E-AnFY4m3GV9m2ozNCsiamZGJa4HWJglwyzLHWgHFLvaVjKbapGM/s1600/Describe.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">Go on. Tell me I can't draw for toffee. </span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">Okay - the one on the right is supposed to be an ear. </span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">If you can't guess the other two, just leave now and watch the brilliant </span><span style="color: cyan; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"><a href="http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/eec0f64fc5/between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis-bruce-willis" target="_blank">Between Two Ferns</a>.</span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There's a bit of a </span><span style="color: #f1c232; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">background</span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> into </span><span style="color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">foreground</span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> thing going on here:</span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYoHI5jWLOs6A_Kb9fH0MEopJhfXqrEvK5l-6ND1ujbrglvRiw_iG81VpEiV89c5RFy4elkAPGnAzF1lmYIGk_d_iVDnCqgaofYDXiD2iOnpOunaDnHXD-IsbxHR7KDZzXfGkJLFCth1g/s1600/Disclose.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYoHI5jWLOs6A_Kb9fH0MEopJhfXqrEvK5l-6ND1ujbrglvRiw_iG81VpEiV89c5RFy4elkAPGnAzF1lmYIGk_d_iVDnCqgaofYDXiD2iOnpOunaDnHXD-IsbxHR7KDZzXfGkJLFCth1g/s1600/Disclose.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">This one didn't take long to decide on:</span></span></h2>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLABMlTOOeM65Atu_G0HbuU-gg5CJDPfb92qGg0TuR6jmDgH6kcrTxXV0VPubWo2NeMQrJz8P9pq6o1Dv-_W4bchly76hsqjNRg657Woxw0nk1uV_N14eVhlcTtwxZm8A_AJuxdLnyJTI/s1600/new+build.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLABMlTOOeM65Atu_G0HbuU-gg5CJDPfb92qGg0TuR6jmDgH6kcrTxXV0VPubWo2NeMQrJz8P9pq6o1Dv-_W4bchly76hsqjNRg657Woxw0nk1uV_N14eVhlcTtwxZm8A_AJuxdLnyJTI/s1600/new+build.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">This one wasn't that hard either: </span></h2>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaq7nnXwtnBaIDPUSPEeOacyCCr6UbHBnLHr3M-BguazB4sethf1eQK7CgWXpfQdkjC2gP9JP-FvImIU4C1gTVEXheRH0s04YfPTxOop2glZ3rQ3ZnG5AoaCNaJTe8yB69okfaEzILh5g/s1600/new+check.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; display: inline !important; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaq7nnXwtnBaIDPUSPEeOacyCCr6UbHBnLHr3M-BguazB4sethf1eQK7CgWXpfQdkjC2gP9JP-FvImIU4C1gTVEXheRH0s04YfPTxOop2glZ3rQ3ZnG5AoaCNaJTe8yB69okfaEzILh5g/s1600/new+check.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="color: white; font-weight: normal;">This one is a bit </span><span style="color: #fff2cc; font-weight: normal;">trickier</span><span style="color: white; font-weight: normal;"> because it involves two ideas, keeping the conversation going in the right direction but stepping in and out of the </span><span style="color: #ea9999; font-weight: normal;">content</span><span style="color: white; font-weight: normal;"> occasionally to adjust the way in which you're going about the journey:</span></span></h2>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6g4bqlXjNGEoBWHrt9zT5ATQmJjVIpG05Bx1GZeT4UoGiCq6YAtWbAI1koay6tLvoCI8SyeLwyNVCK6lFx96sJQMvD9jRSxjj_uPyIqfYBQZBQzNozr9Rwpyze77MFWTwocLF5JpXwAM/s1600/NEW+Navigate.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; display: inline !important; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6g4bqlXjNGEoBWHrt9zT5ATQmJjVIpG05Bx1GZeT4UoGiCq6YAtWbAI1koay6tLvoCI8SyeLwyNVCK6lFx96sJQMvD9jRSxjj_uPyIqfYBQZBQzNozr9Rwpyze77MFWTwocLF5JpXwAM/s1600/NEW+Navigate.jpg" height="225" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">Next, my personal </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: orange;">favourite</span></span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">, because it's so simple: </span></h2>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg03s8xGk6poSUZpHEe7DvMdMtGer24L9thXFVZaoGBXCXUQ-5I2qyAQ_LquaYWylh_6hqEuVJOGoKKLFQibgT_0lr-IwkrmWmTTQtzB0eN1qoF6kC7112YtrhX5BVV-9QHEXqBj5hGbBU/s1600/Pause.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg03s8xGk6poSUZpHEe7DvMdMtGer24L9thXFVZaoGBXCXUQ-5I2qyAQ_LquaYWylh_6hqEuVJOGoKKLFQibgT_0lr-IwkrmWmTTQtzB0eN1qoF6kC7112YtrhX5BVV-9QHEXqBj5hGbBU/s1600/Pause.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white;">My second favourite. Because it's so </span><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">accurate</span><span style="color: white;">: </span></span></span></h2>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQM9RsUTnoiL2aSn_WjZdWf9uAhbJJy3p5vjGTRT-pJJyvXtAGBCwsigw0KfK1bkMTjFT_8N_cfhn9DFdXtE11wK6bMKvSLdiAR-2Dy688mjoJyHYv-hGXxRkz6JZuA7zwS2IYNFHG6Uo/s1600/Probe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQM9RsUTnoiL2aSn_WjZdWf9uAhbJJy3p5vjGTRT-pJJyvXtAGBCwsigw0KfK1bkMTjFT_8N_cfhn9DFdXtE11wK6bMKvSLdiAR-2Dy688mjoJyHYv-hGXxRkz6JZuA7zwS2IYNFHG6Uo/s1600/Probe.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">This one take the prize for being the most </span><span style="color: #93c47d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">economic</span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">: </span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white;">And finally, an </span><span style="color: #f1c232;">obscure</span> <span style="color: white;">one. If I'm honest I'm not sure it's right yet:</span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">So there you have it.</span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: white;">My first serious</span> <span style="color: #f4cccc;">attempt</span> <span style="color: white;">at visuals with the 10 core skills of having better conversations.</span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">They may not be brilliant, but I hope they're helpful. </span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: white;">They're out on the</span> <span style="color: #f3f3f3;">road</span><span style="color: white;">. </span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white;">They're in the</span> <span style="color: yellow;">book</span><span style="color: white;">.</span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: white;">And - if they're any good - some of them are already lodged in your </span><span style="color: #fff2cc;">beautiful</span> <span style="color: white;">minds.</span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">(Any suggestions for improvement - do get in touch!)</span></h2>
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Karl James - The Dialogue Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16843924483748865139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4964125166729080600.post-46012820320097598112014-11-06T01:00:00.000+00:002014-11-21T08:21:54.017+00:00celia's story<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2GAOrDfIdp-MCOIAZqmA7sn8aYuR-yfzXrja4q5CBThnzf9118ywv4jFL0jLKthhT8eO4COhaxCjytoKyKpVO_xkcfI02Y9pflcnL5IMorhBVVGxyz5MrK12a6Qwv90eZ_3QrX2OpmtM/s1600/Celia's%2BAcorns.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2GAOrDfIdp-MCOIAZqmA7sn8aYuR-yfzXrja4q5CBThnzf9118ywv4jFL0jLKthhT8eO4COhaxCjytoKyKpVO_xkcfI02Y9pflcnL5IMorhBVVGxyz5MrK12a6Qwv90eZ_3QrX2OpmtM/s1600/Celia's%2BAcorns.JPG" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm lucky enough to have met some pretty amazing people in my time.</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white;"> </span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: normal;">And I've been lucky enough to record some of the conversations I've had with them. </span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: normal;">Often those conversations have been fascinating. Because they're with amazing people who are </span><span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: normal;">passionate</span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: normal;"> about what they've achieved in their lives. </span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white; font-size: small;">Among the podcasts out there already you'll hear the voices of an astronaut, a peace-negotiator, a North Pole explorer and a professor of neuroscience. </span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white;">Incredible people. With incredible jobs.</span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: #fff2cc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">Actually I never did release the neuroscientist conversation. To be honest it wasn't up to scratch. </span></h2>
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<span style="color: #fff2cc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">But I did meet her. </span></h2>
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<span style="color: #fff2cc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">And she was amazing.</span><span style="color: yellow; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"> </span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">It's just that our conversation wasn't.</span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">And that's kind of my point.</span></h2>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Even when the people I talk to have achieved amazing things, it's not their job or their achievements that make the conversation worth sharing.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's their capacity to give themselves to the conversation that makes it compelling. Or not.</span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;">It's when the quality of the </span><span style="color: #ffe599;">listening</span><span style="color: white;"> in the room begins to affect the quality of the thinking. </span></span></span><span style="color: white; font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And it's when the job becomes not so much about telling the story but sharing it. </span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Right there. Right then.</span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And it's when two strangers </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">sitting</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">across a table begin to feel like they're mutually colluding minds rather than separately and politely exchanging opinions.</span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's when it <i>feels</i> like you're both really participating in that conversation. </span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Both initiating. Both taking part. Both hunting down. Both </span><span style="color: orange; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">revealing</span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and</span><span style="color: cyan; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> revising</span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">.</span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: normal;">S</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white;">o, I confess to being a little confused by my role in the last conversation I recorded and which, after a long, long editing process, you can now </span><span style="color: #d9ead3;">hear</span><span style="color: white;">...</span><span style="color: #444444;"> </span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: lime;"><a href="https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/2+2-5-the-dialogue-project/id423791414?mt=2" target="_blank"><span style="color: lime;">Here</span></a> </span><span style="color: #b6d7a8;">on iTunes</span><span style="color: #444444;"> </span><span style="color: white;">or right at the bottom of this blog.</span></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white; font-size: small;">It's called: Celia's Story. </span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">And in one sense it is just that, and only that. A story told.</span></h2>
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<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">Not told though to just anyone.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"> Told to <i>me.</i> </span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">And - at the time of hearing it - it really <i>felt</i></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"> that way.</span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;">But I'm confused because I think I might have experienced something quite rare for me. </span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;">During my conversation with Celia, I was hearing things first-hand that perhaps somewhere in my subconscious I had tacitly assumed I would never hear. </span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white;">I felt, I suppose, something very close to </span><span style="color: #cfe2f3;">shock</span><span style="color: white;"> as I listened.</span></span></span><span style="color: white; font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Because Celia's Story is (at first) a story of cruelty. </span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Of a cowardly father and (in Celia's words) a mother from hell. And as it goes on, it becomes a story of a desperately twisted adult relationship and an agonising sense of a frightened individual caught in the headlights of fear and locked in a desperate situation, partly and unbearably of her own making, in that she didn't think she </span><span style="color: #e06666; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">deserved</span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> to say no.</span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's a story that may well make you angry as you listen to it. </span></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white;">You may even find it barely </span><span style="color: cyan;">credible</span><span style="color: white;">.</span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But if you stay with it. You'll hear too that it's </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">also a story of human triumph.</span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(And <i>how</i>.)</span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Celia's story is one of hope, courage, love, kindness, forgiveness and generosity. </span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;">It's a story of </span><span style="color: yellow;">good</span><span style="color: white;"> things out-living </span><span style="color: magenta;">bad</span><span style="color: white;"> ones.</span></span></span><span style="color: white; font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And as I listened to Celia, as I absorbed her story for the first time, I realised that I was feeling nothing like I often do in a conversation. </span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">None of my skills seemed important. </span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">None of my experience felt useful.</span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And none of my words felt adequate.</span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, I found myself, just... listening. </span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And here's why I'm confused. </span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;">Because (and perhaps when you listen to it - </span><i style="color: white;">if</i><span style="color: white;"> you listen to it - you might hear like I do now that) this is not really a </span><span style="color: orange;">dialogue</span><span style="color: white;">. </span></span></span><span style="color: white; font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I mean, in the sense that it's pretty much a one-way conversation. (</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The type I would usually say does not a dialogue make.)</span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I really don't do very much in it.</span> </span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm really not being falsely modest. I admit to asking a few good questions, to checking that I'd understood, to probing a little bit here and there. </span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But essentially, </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;">I just </span><span style="color: cyan;">showed</span><span style="color: white;"> up.</span></span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> And stayed with it. </span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And of course sometimes that's all it takes. And this conversation has reminded me of that. </span></span><span style="color: white; font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's a conversation that's left me with lots of questions. I'll write a separate post soon about what those questions are for me. (And I'd love to know what those questions are for you.)</span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For now, I want to offer you simply the experience of listening to someone whose courage and sense of self-preservation I am utterly in awe of and totally delighted to have met.</span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've tried to do our conversation justice in the edit. Which means it's not a short one. (The extended form seems to be where my conversations are going these days.)</span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Perhaps you'll find though - as I did - that after a few minutes, the clock on the wall stops ticking. </span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;">And you start instead to find time and space for a woman who not only has one of the most gorgeous accents you're ever likely to enjoy hearing, but who has somehow managed to conquer a life's journey scarred by hurt, </span><span style="color: #f9cb9c;">neglect</span><span style="color: white;"> and abuse with an abundance of smiles, laughter and a one size fits all hug.</span></span></span><span style="color: white; font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Celia - you are truly one amazing person. </span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It was a privilege meeting you and it's been a privilege listening to you over and over again as I've edited our conversation in order to share it. </span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thanks for letting it be heard. I hope many people find Celia's story as inspiring as I do.</span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: orange; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">(Quick update here: Celia's Story has become the most listened to episode of any I've published in just the first two weeks of its life. Extraordinary.) </span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And to Colin - who put us in touch, who hosted our conversation and made the tea, who even provided the photograph that feels like it might have come from the little hide-away that Celia describes - my heartfelt thanks and appreciation.</span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: lime;">"It's good... to be heard."</span></span></h2>
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Karl James - The Dialogue Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16843924483748865139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4964125166729080600.post-48358617903092857412013-11-04T01:42:00.003+00:002013-11-04T13:25:13.874+00:00sounds of pain<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipTChhRAEepJErp1EXHRPSQcwOKsAVNIBGJCLkEQCN8X9cydyan6uBCKhRr_ZdrgQJ5nVcVRc8sIf7Dh3N3snX8M5mcdyCWGov7d9TmcGdb_FDg4DBKH-1s5Tys8WpwgoHUshp_LIZ8fM/s1600/isobel_b+w.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="319" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipTChhRAEepJErp1EXHRPSQcwOKsAVNIBGJCLkEQCN8X9cydyan6uBCKhRr_ZdrgQJ5nVcVRc8sIf7Dh3N3snX8M5mcdyCWGov7d9TmcGdb_FDg4DBKH-1s5Tys8WpwgoHUshp_LIZ8fM/s320/isobel_b+w.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: white;"><br /></span><span style="color: white;"><br /></span><span style="color: white;">My first podcast on the subject of </span><span style="color: #f9cb9c;">tinnitus</span><span style="color: white;"> is out. </span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="color: white;">It's called </span><span style="color: orange;">Sounds of Pain</span><span style="color: white;">. </span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white;">And it's a conversation (of course) between me and Isobel Anderson.</span></span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">You can get it </span><a href="https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/2-2-5-the-dialogue-project/id423791414" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: normal;" target="_blank"><span style="color: lime; font-size: small;">here</span></a><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"> on iTunes. Or if you're not an iTunes person, you can download it directly </span><span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"><a href="https://www.hightail.com/download/OGhjN3RRdWNubHdYRHNUQw" target="_blank">here</a></span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">.</span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">Isobel is a singer, a songwriter and a sound artist. A seriously talented young woman with the voice of an angel, a mind that's as curious as it is creative and a sense of self that's both fragile and robust. Her songs are delicate and sure-footed, powerful and vulnerable, funny and wicked. Her wit oozes gently into her lyrics while her voice captures you. She lays bare her soul but somehow manages to hold you with a firm grip all at the same time.</span></h2>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="color: white;">She's about as talented a singer song-writer as I've heard. </span></span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">But she's not in the least bit interested in becoming a star.</span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">So what's the nature of my interest in her story?</span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">Well, a couple of years ago, out of nowhere, Isobel developed </span><span style="color: #f6b26b; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">tinnitus</span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">. It all happened horribly easily. She had some wax in her ear. She got an ear infection. The infection damaged her ear. And whatever the precise medical explanations and definitions, the bottom line is that the nerves that send signals to her brain quickly seized the opportunity to create a kind of chaos between her ear and her mind.</span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">As she puts it:</span></h2>
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<span style="color: #fff2cc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">It felt like I was being tortured.</span></h2>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="color: #fff2cc;">I couldn't sleep.</span><span style="color: #fff2cc;"><br /></span><span style="color: #fff2cc;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="color: #fff2cc;">I completely lost it.</span><span style="color: #fff2cc;"><br /></span><span style="color: #fff2cc;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="color: #fff2cc;">I was just /</span><span style="color: #fff2cc;"><br /></span><span style="color: #fff2cc;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="color: #fff2cc;">My whole world turned upside down.</span><span style="color: #fff2cc;"><br /></span><span style="color: #fff2cc;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="color: #fff2cc;">It /</span><span style="color: #fff2cc;"><br /></span><span style="color: #fff2cc;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="color: #fff2cc;">I had never ever imagined suffering like that. Ever.</span><span style="color: #fff2cc;"><br /></span><span style="color: #fff2cc;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="color: #fff2cc;">I just had no idea that /</span><span style="color: #fff2cc;"><br /></span><span style="color: #fff2cc;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="color: #fff2cc;">That could happen.</span><span style="color: #fff2cc;"><br /></span><span style="color: #fff2cc;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="color: #fff2cc;">I always thought that that kind of suffering happens when /</span><span style="color: #fff2cc;"><br /></span><span style="color: #fff2cc;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="color: #fff2cc;">You know /</span><span style="color: #fff2cc;"><br /></span><span style="color: #fff2cc;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="color: #fff2cc;">When you're being tortured.</span><span style="color: white;"><br /></span><span style="color: white;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="color: white;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Her description of what happened and how she's learned to manage her tinnitus and maybe even befriend it is an extraordinary thing to listen to. And it's the first of my encounters with a series of people whose lives have been affected by this strange and very specific condition. My hope with these podcasts is to reveal to those of us who don't have it a little more of what it's like to have tinnitus. To share some stories of struggle and success. And to allow some creative air into a space that seems often to focus mostly on the medical side of things. </span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">I can think of any number of reasons why I might hope that people will enjoy listening to this particular podcast.</span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">First, it might be you one day.</span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">Secondly, I think anyone who has tinnitus might find some of her perspectives really helpful or at least thought provoking.</span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">And thirdly, anyone who enjoys Isobel's music and her acoustic, part-folk, part-blues musical instincts will find the way she peels back a few of the layers of her life so far utterly compelling.</span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">As I've listened back to our conversation bit by bit, time and time again - as you do when you're editing - I've become more and more fascinated by how useful it can be - when you're trying to describe something as specific and hard to imagine as </span><span style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">tinnitus</span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"> - to describe something </span><i style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;">else</span></i><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">.</span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">(When and if you listen, you'll hear what I'm talking about.)</span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">Now - there's a special feature on this podcast.</span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">Isobel has written a rather beautiful song about her experience of tinnitus called Little Sounds of Pain. You can hear it within the podcast but if you want to put it on your iPod - and you </span><i style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium; font-weight: normal;">so</i><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"> should - she's released it to coincide with the podcast going out. It's a really beautiful song. And she's donating half of the proceeds to the </span><span style="color: orange; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">British Tinnitus Association</span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"> who are doing really fabulous work in terms of supporting, educating and (hopefully) inspiring tinnitus sufferers all over the country. There's a big week coming up early next year for the BTA. It's </span><span style="color: orange; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">Tinnitus Awareness week</span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">, from February 3rd - 9th and you can read all about it </span><span style="color: #d0e0e3; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"><a href="http://www.tinnitus.org.uk/tinnitus-awareness-week-2014" target="_blank">here</a></span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">.</span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">So if you make your way over to Isobel's </span><a href="http://www.isobelanderson.com/" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: normal;" target="_blank"><span style="color: yellow; font-size: small;">website</span></a><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"> you can </span><a href="http://isobelanderson.bandcamp.com/track/little-sounds-of-pain-2" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: normal;" target="_blank"><span style="color: #ffe599; font-size: small;">buy</span></a><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"> </span><span style="color: orange; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">Little Sounds of Pain</span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"> for as little as £1.00 if you like.</span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">While you're there you'll notice that Isobel has a new album called </span><span style="color: #6aa84f; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">In My Garden</span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"> coming out in December. Her back catalogue is a joy to discover. </span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">(My bet is that if you listen to the podcast, you'll end up buying most of her music. I know I did.)</span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">Right. That's it for now. </span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">This podcast has been a pleasure to work on from start to finish. </span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">Partly because getting to know to Isobel just a little bit has been an intriguing and uplifting experience. And partly because I've been able to weave into the edit of our conversation so much of her music. And partly because I have a strong sense that I'm only beginning my journey with exploring tinnitus.</span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">So do listen to the</span><span style="color: lime; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"> <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/2-2-5-the-dialogue-project/id423791414" target="_blank">podcast</a></span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"> if you can. </span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">It's about 75 minutes long. Perfect for a car journey, a commute or a kitchen.. </span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">For now, thanks Isobel. Here's to all things auditory. </span></h2>
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<span style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">(Oh, you might find the language a bit fruity here and there. If you're the sensitive sort.) </span></h2>
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Karl James - The Dialogue Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16843924483748865139noreply@blogger.com0London, UK51.511213899999987 -0.1198243999999704151.195100899999986 -0.7652713999999704 51.827326899999989 0.52562260000002958tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4964125166729080600.post-88054034748056588182013-09-30T03:36:00.001+01:002013-09-30T04:50:02.722+01:00Music To My Ears<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: white; font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It’s been an insanely long
time since I put anything on the blog here.</span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">For anyone who’s missed it, I’m
sorry.</span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As the Autumn leaves turn red, delicious new fruit will appear I promise. </span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;"><br /></span></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;">Meanwhile – have a listen to
our podcasts </span><a href="https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/2-2-5-the-dialogue-project/id423791414" target="_blank"><span style="color: yellow;">here</span></a><span style="color: white;">.<br /> <o:p></o:p></span></span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now – there are ideas afoot.</span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you are a </span><span style="color: #f4cccc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">tinnitus</span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
sufferer and have a musical relationship with your tinnitus, do please feel
free to get in touch.</span></span></span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What I mean by a musical
relationship is this. Do you understand or perceive your particular blend of tinnitus
as a note, a pitch or a tone? And can
you describe it as such? </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;">I’m building a picture of
perspectives in preparation for a podcast on this extraordinary and unique
condition. </span></span></span></span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;">Already I’m delighted to say that the wonderful young folk talent
</span><a href="http://www.isobelanderson.com/index.htm" target="_blank"><span style="color: lime;">Isobel Anderson</span></a><span style="color: white;"> has already agreed to contribute to the show and she’ll be
featured along with a few other remarkable guests.<br /> </span></span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;">Isobel's voice is a remarkable one. I heard her sing live at a folk club in Twickenham recently and found myself literally struggling to believe what I was hearing. Her tone has echoes of Judy Collins and Joni Mitchell. The turns and weaves of her simple but incredibly affecting original melodies honestly made me gasp out loud. Her songs are at times searingly modern and in the next moment of another time. The gentle wit of her razor sharp observations on men and her relationships with them were beautifully etched. And in just a brief conversation afterwards she began to reveal to me a fascinating perspective on not just tinnitus but pain of different sorts. So - in anticipation of my recorded conversation with her, I wholeheartedly recommend that you have a listen to Isobel's new track "Gentlemen" and all of her other music </span><a href="http://isobelanderson.bandcamp.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: orange;">here</span></a><span style="color: white;">.</span></span></span></span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And please get in touch if you feel you may have something to offer to the new show.</span></span></span></h2>
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</h4>
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Karl James - The Dialogue Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16843924483748865139noreply@blogger.com0London, UK51.511213899999987 -0.1198243999999704151.195100899999986 -0.7652713999999704 51.827326899999989 0.52562260000002958tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4964125166729080600.post-18032671699944644442012-08-12T14:29:00.003+01:002012-08-13T09:19:48.665+01:00monkey bars<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<h2>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 150%;">“You’re lucky” said Tobias, aged 8.
“Everyone’s listening to you.”</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And yes, Tobias, I am lucky. I’m
lucky enough to be listened to. </span></span></span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="color: white; font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sometimes.</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="color: white;">But when I sit with Tobias and the
other children at </span><a href="http://www.educaresmallschool.org.uk/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #ffe599;">Educare Small School</span></a><span style="color: white;"> in Kingston as I have done on the occasional
Monday morning to run what’s become known as Listening Circle, my intention
isn’t really to be listened to. It’s to listen. And to listen well.</span></span></span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">On those mornings I pay conscious
attention to how I listen, just as I would when I’m recording an intimate
conversation with someone on the subject of pain or sex or when I’m mediating
between opposing groups of people in a hot and dusty tent somewhere or
facilitating a conversation with board members of a global business. The
situations may change - but the skills remain the same.<br /> </span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;">And this year I've been asked to apply these skills as part of a project devised by </span><a href="http://chrisgoodeandcompany.co.uk/" target="_blank"><span style="color: yellow;">Chris Goode and Company</span></a><span style="color: white;">. The project is called </span><a href="http://chrisgoodeandcompany.co.uk/?page_id=69" target="_blank"><span style="color: lime;">Monkey Bars</span></a><span style="color: white;"> and it opens at the </span><a href="http://www.traverse.co.uk/whats-on/monkey-bars/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d9ead3;">Traverse Theatre</span></a><span style="color: white;"> Edinburgh Festival next week before touring and coming to the </span><a href="http://unicorntheatre.com/monkey-bars" target="_blank"><span style="color: orange;">Unicorn Theatre</span></a><span style="color: white;"> in September.</span></span></span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="color: white; font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">My role in the project was simply to record conversations with children and then hand them over to
Chris for transcribing. I did nothing new or special. I did what I always try
to do. I employed as gracefully as
I can the ten core skills of dialogue at the service of as rich a conversation
as possible.</span></span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white;">So when each child walked into the
private space we’d organised, before I got them to press the button marked
</span><span style="color: red;">REC</span><span style="color: white;">, we’d address an important question together; the question that ought
really to be asked before every conversation: Why are we having this
conversation?</span></span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It’s the question that’s on every
child’s lips as they walk into the room and it’s a question that draws to the
surface one of the most important ingredients of a dialogue: shared intent. My
answer to this question would normally be something like this: “Well – usually
a project starts with an idea. And behind this project is an idea that sometimes
children aren’t always listened to.”<br /> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“Do you find that sometimes?” I’d
ask. </span></span></span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A nod of the head would often follow; sometimes quite a fervent nodding of
the head. </span></span></span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I’d tell them that our conversation would never be ‘heard’ as
recorded, but instead it might become source material for a script. “A script
for a piece of theatre that puts the words of children into the mouths of
adults.”</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“What do you think?” I would ask.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“Why are you doing that?” they’d
want to know. “Well, because I think Chris suspects that one reason why
children’s voices aren’t always heard is that people don’t really take children
seriously. And that maybe by hearing what you say through other people standing
on a stage - not other children but other adults - maybe people might listen differently
to what you have to say.”</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“Okay” they often replied, but this
time with a slower more thoughtful look on their face. (Any other comments at
this stage were usually confined to just one word: “Interesting.”)</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I’d then make clear to the children
that if they found themselves saying anything on tape that they’d rather not
have used then they should say so and that would be fine; we wouldn’t use it.
(None of them did.)</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then I’d tell them that the only
thing I’d really ask of them was to be as honest as they could be. And in
return I would assure them that they weren’t about to be judged or assessed by
me or Chris. “This isn’t a test, it’s a conversation.” I’d say.</span></span></span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="color: white; font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">And so we’d start talking.</span></span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;">And I’d start listening: </span><i><span style="color: #b4a7d6;">to</span></i><span style="color: white;">, </span><i><span style="color: yellow;">for</span></i><span style="color: white;">,
</span><i><span style="color: magenta;">from</span></i><span style="color: white;"> and</span><span style="color: orange;"> <i>with</i></span><span style="color: white;">.</span></span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;">I’d listen </span><i><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">to</span></i><span style="color: white;"> the content of what they had to say.</span><br /> </span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;">I’d listen </span><i><span style="color: yellow;">for</span></i><span style="color: white;"> the small clues that lie within and behind the content, the
tiny hints that might be worth exploring more.</span></span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;">And I’d acknowledge where I was
listening </span><i><span style="color: magenta;">from</span></i><span style="color: white;">: a position of adult
curiosity – as an outsider if you like. (How could I be anything but an
outsider? I’m an adult after all.)</span></span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;">And sometimes – and only sometimes
– I’d get close to listening </span><i><span style="color: orange;">with</span></i><span style="color: white;">
these young people; occasionally finding myself trusted enough to be allowed to
sit with them as it were and glimpse through their eyes and ears how the world
might seem to be.</span><br /> </span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It’s this final layer of listening
– empathic listening – that I find the most challenging of all, no matter who
I’m having a conversation with. Why? Because it’s so tempting to kid myself
that I’m already doing it. It’s easy to tell ourselves that “we really
understand what it’s like” for someone who’s had an entirely individual
experience. It gives us a warm glow to imagine that we can truly share someone
else’s point of view; that we can actually sit in their position and feel what
something must have been like for them. </span></span></span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">But truly, this is much harder than we
think. Empathy-lite is common; genuine empathy is rare. And so the moment I
begin to utter the words ‘that must have been amazing’ or ‘scary’ or
‘thrilling’ or ‘upsetting for you’, I know I’m probably in a dangerous place,
because I’m probably in the wrong place. I’m painting <i>their</i></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"> picture with <i>my</i> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">brush, with my palette and my experience of life. And in doing so I’ve hijacked
the conversational journey. </span></span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white;">As we all do. </span></span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white;">As we often do.</span></span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, in order to do my best to
co-create a healthy conversation, I’ll employ the skills of dialogue, my
everyday working tools. I’ll check rather than assume. I’ll dig deeper before I
challenge or query. I’ll make sure we’re both okay with where we are and where
we’re going. I’ll encourage them to describe their experience using personal
and specific examples rather than abstract or broad generalisations. I’ll walk
the talk of dialogue as gently and as generously as I can. </span></span></span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But, as essential as
a set of well-defined and sharp tools may be, it’s not enough. And like all the
other skills of dialogue, listening well is about a lot more than efficiency
and good practice.<br /> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Good listening is about attitude;
something that’s hard to teach, but simple to explain. </span></span></span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For me it’s as simple as
this: behind every good listener is a desire to hear.</span></span></span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">In my experience, if there’s
anything that can be trusted to make a real difference to a conversation it’s
that: the presence of desire. It’s curiosity that creates the space for a
bigger conversation and transforms what could be just an interview into a
dialogue.</span></span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It’s not always easy to be curious.
But when you’re sitting with a 9-year-old, personally it comes naturally. I’m
curious about what they think. I’m curious to hear how they’re beginning to
construct their perspective on the world. </span></span></span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And I’m curious to find out whether
being listened to is the norm or the exception.<br /> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So I’d like to thank the children
and their teachers and parents for talking part in this project. </span></span></span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I’d like to
thank them for talking to me and for answering my questions. And I’d like to
thank them for being curious enough to sometimes ask me some good questions
too. </span></span></span></h2>
<div>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;">(You can hear</span><span style="color: red;"> a short extract</span><span style="color: white;"> of one of the conversations and a question I was asked </span><a href="http://audioboo.fm/boos/324824-anything-you-want-to-ask-me" target="_blank"><span style="color: red;">here</span></a><span style="color: white;">.)</span></span></span></span></div>
<h2>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As one child said to me at the end
of a conversation: “it’s just nice to have someone be interested really.”</span></span></span></h2>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: white;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(This is a slightly edited version of the piece I wrote for the </span><a href="http://oberonbooks.com/catalogsearch/result/?q=monkey+bars" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;" target="_blank"><span style="color: magenta;">script</span></a><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> of Monkey Bars published by Methuen. You can read an interview with Karl and Chris in The Guardian </span><a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/aug/11/monkey-bars-play-with-children-voices?newsfeed=true" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;" target="_blank"><span style="color: cyan;">here</span></a><span style="color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">.)</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span></div>
Karl James - The Dialogue Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16843924483748865139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4964125166729080600.post-33556401862626770372012-03-14T01:40:00.029+00:002012-03-22T12:07:03.205+00:00understanding difference<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeNd_HH4LFA1NZW4msK_YEygJ2400XT2Vp6Y89yF64ZL4vbrnJRt23F9altvuLTJFYwt30epOz3qiBS2vCDcnNZ06sf5r0zDX3x06MazU8hKBxU33MEi_SsRTSIcEsd93K5CnZgKZ1p6Y/s1600/wonderbox.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 192px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeNd_HH4LFA1NZW4msK_YEygJ2400XT2Vp6Y89yF64ZL4vbrnJRt23F9altvuLTJFYwt30epOz3qiBS2vCDcnNZ06sf5r0zDX3x06MazU8hKBxU33MEi_SsRTSIcEsd93K5CnZgKZ1p6Y/s320/wonderbox.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5719572996145858178" /></a><br /><!--[if !mso]> <style> v\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);} o\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);} w\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);} .shape {behavior:url(#default#VML);} </style> <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:documentproperties> <o:template>Normal.dotm</o:Template> <o:revision>0</o:Revision> <o:totaltime>0</o:TotalTime> <o:pages>1</o:Pages> <o:words>1442</o:Words> <o:characters>8221</o:Characters> <o:company>The Dialogue Project</o:Company> <o:lines>68</o:Lines> <o:paragraphs>16</o:Paragraphs> <o:characterswithspaces>10095</o:CharactersWithSpaces> <o:version>12.0</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:allowpng/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves>false</w:TrackMoves> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:drawinggridhorizontalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing> <w:drawinggridverticalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing> <w:displayhorizontaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery> <w:displayverticaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:dontautofitconstrainedtables/> <w:dontvertalignintxbx/> </w:Compatibility> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="276"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: left;line-height: 150%; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: left;line-height: 150%; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: left;line-height: 150%; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: left;line-height: 150%; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: left;line-height: 150%; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: left;line-height: 150%; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: left;line-height: 150%; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">A few weeks ago I was happily tucked up in bed with </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 22px; font-family:arial;"><a href="http://www.romankrznaric.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffff66;">Roman Krznaric</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffff99;">. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;"></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 22px; font-family:arial;">I was really enjoying it. </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: left;line-height: 150%; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 22px; font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">Alright. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 22px; font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">I wasn't actually in bed with <i>him</i>. But I was in bed with his</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;"> fantastic book called The Wonder Box. </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 22px; font-family:arial;">"I wonder who this man is?" I remember thinking.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: left;line-height: 150%; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 22px; font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;">Then, I had lunch with Steve Moore and Carole Stone. Steve thought Roman and I would make a good double act.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: left;line-height: 150%; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 22px; font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Carole agreed. </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: left;line-height: 150%; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 22px; font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And stole Steve's idea. </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: left;line-height: 150%; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">So last night, I shared a small stage with </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 22px; font-family:arial;">Roman at t</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">he totally eccentric and wonderful </span><a href="http://www.yougovstone.com/TheStoneClub/TheStoneClub/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ff0000;">Stone Club</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;"> in London.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: left;line-height: 150%; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">Roman spoke first about </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#99ff99;">empathy</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#cccccc;">(You can watch him talking at he RSA </span><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9jC1ThqTNo&feature=youtu.be" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); ">here</a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">.)</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: left;line-height: 150%; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">And then I spoke about </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; font-family:arial;color:#ffff99;">listening</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 22px; font-family:arial;">.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: left; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; color:#ffffff;">If you weren't there - you missed a lovely evening. </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: left; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 22px; font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">But if you're interested, my talk was called </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#99ff99;">a little like empathy</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: left; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 22px; font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">You can listen to it </span><a href="http://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/2-2-5-the-dialogue-project/id423791414" style="color: rgb(51, 255, 51); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33ff33;">here</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">. </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: left; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 22px; font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">Or download it </span><a href="https://www.yousendit.com/download/M3BuRkJYTmF5UkdVQU1UQw"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ff6600;">here</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: left; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px;color:#ffffff;">Or read it. </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: left; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px;color:#ffffff;">Here:</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: left;line-height: 150%; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#33ffff;">Understanding difference</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: left;line-height: 150%; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">"Essentially, it’s what I do for a living. I help people talk to each other. People who are different to each other.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: left;line-height: 150%; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">My professional interest in understanding difference (and empathy) took the form of starting something called The Dialogue Project in response to the events of Sept 11<sup>th</sup> 2001, when against a bright blue </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#33ccff;">September</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"> sky we saw two worlds of difference collide in a way that – let’s hope – changed for ever our perspective on why there’s a need to understand people who - in one way or another - <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">aren’t</i> like </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#33ff33;">us</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 150%; "><o:p> </o:p></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">If I’m honest, it wasn’t 9/11 that prompted me to give up what I was doing and</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); "> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">focus instead on helping people talk to each other. It was rather Bill Clinton’s speech in November of that year when he essentially said something like: “If we want strawberries all year round – if we are choosing this global society – then we have to understand: </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffcc99;">our neighbourhood just got bigger</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">.”</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">I think what he meant in essence was that the difference that had until recently kept a safe distance, is now among us in a way it wasn’t 25 years ago. And he went on to say that in this world of difference, we will fall into one of two groups:</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span style="line-height: 150%; "><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"> </span></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span style="line-height: 150%; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">There’ll be those of us who look at difference and see </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffcc00;">richness</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffcc33;">and learning</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"> and possibility. And this group of people will move towards difference. We will respect it and inspect it. Explore it and who knows even </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffcc00;">embrace</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"> it.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And then there’ll be those of us who see difference as </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ff6666;">division</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">. We’ll see difference and perceive </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ff0000;">danger</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">. We’ll see difference and feel an inherent </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ff0000;">threat</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"> to what’s known and familiar. At best we may simply want to wish it away - at worst we may seek to </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ff0000;">destroy</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"> it.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Of course difference has always existed between peoples and people, countries and cultures. Come to that, tolerance and terror aren’t exactly new ideas either. And so empathy – which starts with understanding difference - has always been necessary. But never so much as </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ccffff;">today</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"> because…</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Well because things have changed. Our world has changed. Our world is changing. And when it comes to difference for me the two most significant things changes are these:</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><span style="line-height: 150%; color:#ccffff;">Aeroplanes</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 150%; "> and the </span><span style="line-height: 150%; color:#99ff99;">internet</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 150%; ">.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><span style="line-height: 150%; ">Flights </span><span style="line-height: 150%; ">are cheap. And the internet is virtually free.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And so our world (both physical and virtual) has shrunk. The boundaries and borders that used to make us feel safe are disappearing… so difference - <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">global</i> difference - if it’s not sitting next to us in the classroom, on the bus or the tube train, is staring us in the </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#9999ff;">Facebook</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">But for many of us – for most of us perhaps – it’s not the global difference that preoccupies us. It’s the difference we deal with on a day-to-day basis - the local difference - that permeates and pervades our everyday lives, that occupies us - for good or ill. </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Ask any husband which relationship he’s most concerned about – and it won’t be the one between </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffcccc;">Barack Obama</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"> and </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ff99ff;">Benjamin Netanyahu</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">. It’ll be his own relationship with his wife, or his son or his boss. Ask the child who’s frightened of going to school which she fears most: a nuclear Iran or her ex-best friend who’s now threatening to post pictures of her on the internet.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 150%; ">Terror</span><span style="line-height: 150%; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;"> (in its different forms) is everywhere. Possibility – in its different forms - is everywhere. Because </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33ff33;">difference is everywhere</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">So if difference is everywhere - and if we’re interested in understanding it – if our desire is to create empathy - then there’s a </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#cc33cc;">demand for dialogue</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">But the demand is not for the concept of dialogue.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">For me, dialogue is action. And conversation is the art of the practical.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And like any craft or art, there are tools of the trade. And in my experience, when it comes to empathy, there’s one tool in particular, that’s the sharpest, most practical tool of all.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And it’s called </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ff9900;">Listening</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Listening is the subtle knife that carves through matter to what matters. It reveals new worlds and possibilities. Listening can create the as yet unimagined ideas and unconsidered solutions.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And it’s a skill we can all use. But in a world that’s increasingly obsessed and seduced by the visual… I think we need to redefine and rediscover listening. So just for a few minutes, I want you to consider listening as a form of expression. As much as the way we look, in our carefully groomed clothes, as much as the way we sound, as much as the way we smell of our perfumes and aftershaves, the way in which we listen can tell others a great deal about us. About who we are. And how we are.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">So let’s reclaim the art of listening from the exclusive grip of the caring professions, some of whom seem to have become a little careless with it.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">But let’s be careful ourselves. Because listening’s not a soft skill or an act of cuddly kindness.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Listening’s a sharp blade. And it cuts deep.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">So if deep listening, if rich listening is the key to empathy /</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">How can we do it better?</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Allow me to share what I like to think of as the four lenses of listening. And offer you a glimpse of what I’ve learnt in my work touching lightly on some of the experiences I’ve had with people who’ve appreciated and responded to being given a damn good listening to.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><span style="line-height: 150%; "><o:p> </o:p></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; ">The first type of listening we learn is…</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ccccff;"><span style="line-height: 150%; "><o:p> </o:p></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; ">#1 Listening to</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span style="line-height: 150%; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">This is where listening starts. As a child we’re told to listen to.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span style="line-height: 150%; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Listen to Daddy.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span style="line-height: 150%; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Listen to your Mother.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span style="line-height: 150%; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Listen to me. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span style="line-height: 150%; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Listen to the birds.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span style="line-height: 150%; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Listen to the music.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span style="line-height: 150%; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Listen to the sound of me saying AH, EE, OO… <o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span style="line-height: 150%; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Listen to me. <o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span style="line-height: 150%; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">This is the first stage of listening.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span style="line-height: 150%; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And still, as adults we can learn how to listen to better. And my suggestion if we want to improve the quality of how we listen to - would just be to listen longer.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">With a little more patience. With a little more time. With a little less distraction.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And then, there’s:</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffff66;">#2 Listening for</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><span style="line-height: 150%; "><o:p> </o:p></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; ">As we grow up and mature, we develop the capacity to listen for. To listen beyond what’s said for how it’s spoken.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">“Mum’s talking about her trip to see Grandma but she sounds upset.”</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">“My girlfriend’s saying she wants to see me next week, but I can tell something’s wrong.”</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">As we get older, we listen more consciously, with more awareness.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And so when I’m with a group of truanting kids in Walworth - racist, angry, hurt, fiercely defensive thirteen year olds, young people who can’t remember what it’s like to be listened to, young people who’ve realised (maybe only subconsciously) that the only way to get noticed is to do and say outrageous things – if I want to empathise with these young people, it’s not enough to listen to them.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">I have to listen for…</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">I have to listen for clues. I learn to listen for the small things; the things that don’t belong.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">The held breath, a disguised tell-tale sign that this is a young woman who does care about her future. The slight catch in the boy’s voice as he discloses that he does want to come to school. If we can (and we can) listen for these clues, these symptoms that this young man at least is a compassionate, considerable and considering teenager who hasn’t yet given up on himself – even if everyone else has. If we can listen for with this young man, then and only then – can we begin to notice what’s hidden, what’s buried, but ultimately what’s there aching to be heard.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ff99ff;">#3 Listening from</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And then there’s listening from… I learnt to do this in a project called Your Thoughts With Mine, where I worked with Muslim groups around the UK and discovered that in order simply to understand someone whose faith’s not just a set of religious rules or guidelines, but in fact a heartfelt way of life, was to acknowledge that I was sitting in a completely different place to him. And by finding the humility to accept that my school of life was less whole, less integrated, and less rigorous, by accepting… (in fact by seeking out) the distinctive differences between my perspective and his, far from limiting my capacity to listen, I was actually freeing myself to become a deeper, more honest partner in conversation. I became free of political correctness, of caution and constraint. I was listening from my experience and not trying to second guess his. We created air between us. And we began… to breathe.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">It became a livelier, more robust and healthy exchange. We minded the gap. We felt the difference. And enjoyed the difference. We laughed more. We learnt more. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>From different places.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And then, finally - and here we begin to approach empathy - there’s:</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ff6666;">#4 Listening with</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span style="line-height: 150%; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Have I ever done this? Have I ever actually stood in someone else’s shoes? Have I ever truly occupied their world?</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">No.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">How can I? How can we?</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">How can I can imagine accurately what it’s like to be <a href="http://understandingdifference.blogspot.com/2012/01/happy-birthday.html">Jess</a> who suffers from Tourettes and swears ten times every minute, scaring children in the street and shouting out her own PIN number at the hole in the wall?</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And how can I share the experience of Jean-Francois Clervoy the astronaut, who’s rocketed thousands of miles up into space to fix the Hubble telescope and who’s turned around to look at our planet from outer space and wept like a boy at its beauty?</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Can I say to the woman I love who’s failed her driving test for the third time in a row, I know how frustrated you feel; I know exactly how you feel?</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><span style="line-height: 150%; ">No!</span><span style="line-height: 150%; "> Because I don’t!</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">So whoever they are - these people who aren’t like us - can we be them?</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">No.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">But can we be with them? Can we sit with them? Can we see with them as they look through their window on the world? Can we lean towards them, can we put our arm around them as they gaze and wonder?</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Can we try at least to forget ourselves and if only for a while listen with them?</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Yes. Yes. We can try.</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And if we try… If we can learn to listen like this - and we can learn to listen like this – perhaps then, we can begin to experience something a little like empathy… and then maybe we can begin to understand something about the extraordinary different individuals we are.</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 22px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Thank you. For listening."</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 22px; font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#cccccc;">(My special thinks to those whose huge influence and expertise is in the work I refer to: especially Dick Mullender, Jess Thom, Rehana Mughal, Eleni Simeou, </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204); line-height: 22px; font-family:arial;">Jean Francois Clervoy, Anthony Venditti, Daniel Snell and Emily Shenton at Arrival Education, Steve Moore and Lucy Windmill.)</span></span></p> <!--EndFragment-->Karl James - The Dialogue Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16843924483748865139noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4964125166729080600.post-11046397676410556052012-01-26T00:44:00.013+00:002012-02-11T14:18:21.133+00:00happy birthday<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0KyBLFcyNJzBVegaL1bRdYa1pycWFlTNpSEHTojcfYDawwlhIwieAw22jZrVxVC2D_eNLcOqYfON2766CDwIEuae-JvjNXztdqkCINKQp5e9DL0qXbBgBWUQwhHYFWCnfRzumEB9Saps/s1600/Stuff+my+Mouth+with+pencils.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 286px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0KyBLFcyNJzBVegaL1bRdYa1pycWFlTNpSEHTojcfYDawwlhIwieAw22jZrVxVC2D_eNLcOqYfON2766CDwIEuae-JvjNXztdqkCINKQp5e9DL0qXbBgBWUQwhHYFWCnfRzumEB9Saps/s320/Stuff+my+Mouth+with+pencils.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5701757572325976402" /></a><br /><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">Having recorded, edited and published a <a href="http://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/2-2-5-the-dialogue-project/id423791414">podcast</a> in record time today, I wanted to write a few words about the rather remarkable woman I met and talked to in that <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;"><a href="http://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/2-2-5-the-dialogue-project/id423791414">podcast</a>.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">You can hear a little excerpt of it here:</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><object data="http://abfiles.s3.amazonaws.com/swf/fullsize_player.swf" height="129" id="boo_embed_637087" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400"><param name="movie" value="http://abfiles.s3.amazonaws.com/swf/fullsize_player.swf"><param name="scale" value="noscale"><param name="salign" value="lt"><param name="bgColor" value="#FFFFFF"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><param name="wmode" value="window"><param name="FlashVars" value="mp3=http%3A%2F%2Faudioboo.fm%2Fboos%2F637087-don-t-be-frightened-of-it.mp3%3Fkeyed%3Dtrue%26source%3Dembed&mp3Title=Don%27t+be+frightened+of+it&mp3Time=03.21pm+24+Jan+2012&mp3LinkURL=http%3A%2F%2Faudioboo.fm%2Fboos%2F637087-don-t-be-frightened-of-it&mp3Author=thedialogueproject&rootID=boo_embed_637087"><a href="http://audioboo.fm/boos/637087-don-t-be-frightened-of-it.mp3?keyed=true&source=embed">Don"t be frightened of it (mp3)</a></object><br /></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Her name is Jess Thom.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">And her life - in her own words - is enriched by </span><a href="http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/tourette/detail_tourette.htm#189333231"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ff6666;">Tourette's Syndrome</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">Jess is one of the 10% or so of people with Tourette's who have what's called </span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coprolalia"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#cccccc;">coprolalia</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">. In plain terms that's the kind of Tourette's that makes you swear and say strange things out loud. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">There are many hundreds of thousands of people with other versions of Tourette's that have less sensational symptoms. Physical spasms. Verbal spasms. Twitches, twists and turns. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">But it seems that most people with whatever strain of this bizarre neurological quirk they're blessed with have in common, is that they are not in control of their tics.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Take a moment to consider what that might mean. Imagine yourself energetically or forcefully swearing or shouting your pin number out, or coming out with extraordinary combinations of words like "Fourteenth century alien birds dangle before your eyes." Or indeed continuously punching yourself. Or convulsing. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Not when you choose to. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">But when your messed up neurosystem chooses to.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">I heard Jess speak on the radio after David Cameron's insanely clumsy insult aimed at Ed Balls. Cameron claimed that facing the Shadow Chancellor in the Commons was like sitting opposite someone with Tourette's. (Nice work by the way David. Where did that one come from? From you of all people? Who has good reason to understand as a father what it's like to deal with a genetic badly dealt hand. Well done for apologising so quickly. Must try harder.)</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">The reaction of the British public was immediate and strong. People were appalled at Cameron's insensitivity. So the media, sensing a story, jumped on board and within just a few hours Jess and other people with Tourette's were being given air space. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Some air space.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">The interviews I heard with Jess were short, which obviously compressed any hope of a rich understanding of something so complex. But I heard through the compression and the crazy noises a powerful, determined and positive voice. She talked about the project </span><a href="http://www.touretteshero.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ff0000;">Tourettes Hero</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;"> which reclaims the absurd tics, laughs at them and celebrates them as a spur for creativity. (Like </span><a href="http://www.touretteshero.com/gallery/?artist=Ratboy"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffcc;">Ratboy's</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;"> brilliant drawing of one of Jess's tics at the top of this post.)</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And as I listened to Jess, I began to wonder what would happen if I invited her to talk for longer. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">I wondered if this positive, life affirming voice might have even more to say given more space, more time and less of a news based agenda. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">So I got in touch. And we arranged a time to talk. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">You can hear our conversation </span><a href="http://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/2-2-5-the-dialogue-project/id423791414"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66ff99;">here</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;"> if you like. (It's called "Happy Birthday" which is one of Jess's more regular tics.)</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Someone commented on hearing it that as the conversation went on, it became less about having Tourette's and more about being a human. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And Jess's philosophy in terms of dealing with her condition (and her advice to anyone else who's frightened of their own disability) is a pretty human one. And it goes a bit like this: </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">1. Find a language to express yourself.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">2. Expect more from others.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">3. Take responsibility for yourself.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">As I heard those words, I released that what she was saying was touching me quite profoundly. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">But at the time I wasn't sure why. I was busy having a conversation after all.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">But I think now, having listened back to it a lot and having mixed and published the conversation - which I barely edited by the way - now I know why I was touched so personally by these simple ideas.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And it's to do with fear.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Jess's approach counteracts fear. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">The fear around disability; for sure.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">But also: the fear around difference.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And that's where I got hooked. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">For years I've said that The Dialogue Project's work is about understanding difference. It's even the title of this blog. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">For me that is the human project: to try and understand more about people who aren't like us. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Whoever we are. And whoever they are. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Not because it's a nice thing to do. But because if you look around, most of our problems come from not understanding each other.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">The wealthy CEO doesn't understand (or imagine) the loss of dignity in the sacked worker.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">The sacked worker doesn't understand (or see) the wealthy CEO's passion for creating jobs.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">The mother doesn't understand (or interpret) the recklessness of her teenage daughter.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">The husband doesn't understand (or know about) his wife's depression.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And the audio obsessed son doesn't understand (even though he tries to) the restriction of his mother's tinnitus.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">A lack of understanding is I suspect the norm.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And that's okay sometimes. As I get older I'm realising it's not necessary to understand everything. (Damn it, that hurts.)</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">But sometimes, dangerous things are drawn into the vacuum that a lack of understanding creates. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Things like fear, frustration, an overbearing desire to solve or resolve. Anger, hatred and apathy can all fill that available space. With consequence.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">So, for someone who's interested in how to understand difference, to hear such a crystal clear definition of what action you can take to overcome the fear of it had a powerful effect on me. I felt a little bit shaken up. In a good way. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And in our conversation, Jess reminded me that understanding difference isn't just an idea. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">It's a practical thing.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">So, as I got home and unpacked my microphones, I felt motivated to share the conversation in its long form as soon as possible. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">So I stayed up late and did it. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">And now it's out there. </span><a href="http://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/2-2-5-the-dialogue-project/id423791414"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33ff33;">Here</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And already people are telling me it's having an effect on them too.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Oh yes. And Jess reminded me of something else too. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">It's okay to laugh.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Thanks Jess. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Power to your sharp elbows.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">(And next time stop talking about biscuits all the time and offer me one.)</span></div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#cccccc;">P.S. Since this post Jess has received even more media exposure, including this 'in her own words' piece in the <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/10/experience-i-say-biscuit-900-times-an-hour">Guardian</a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">. </span></span></div>Karl James - The Dialogue Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16843924483748865139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4964125166729080600.post-80128088691307735092012-01-15T17:21:00.021+00:002012-01-16T16:44:06.011+00:00four strokes<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXpbc7CLk7EJamscU-KArFG91jNd5dqETHcynj_4I8If5KaYsb1YD3mX1CpbATkwIHKfUHkrFu_XaS-HfAW56SBgJqIDLrw_L-NXedngTD7_tHdh0iKEoY4IW27HZrVd_gafff0kOBuU8/s1600/Stephen+and+Nikki.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 151px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXpbc7CLk7EJamscU-KArFG91jNd5dqETHcynj_4I8If5KaYsb1YD3mX1CpbATkwIHKfUHkrFu_XaS-HfAW56SBgJqIDLrw_L-NXedngTD7_tHdh0iKEoY4IW27HZrVd_gafff0kOBuU8/s320/Stephen+and+Nikki.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5697915818110002178" /></a><br /><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">A short post to accompany a conversation that's not made it to the blog until today. </span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">It's a short edit and an unusual one.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">It's called </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ff6666;">four strokes</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">. You can listen to it </span><a href="http://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/2-2-5-the-dialogue-project/id423791414"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffff33;">here</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66ff99;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33cc00;">(on iTunes)</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;"> or </span><a href="http://soundcloud.com/thedialogueproject/four-strokes-the-podcast"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ccffff;">here</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">. And </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">read it </span><a href="http://yousend.it/pain_or_pleasure"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffccff;">here</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">It's about two people who've both been beaten with a cane. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">For one of them it was agonisingly painful.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">For the other it was exquisitely pleasurable.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Nikki is a thoughtful woman and a pro-sub which means she enjoys being dominated sexually. She's a liberated, intelligent and sensitive person with a gentle gaze and an incredible focus when you talk to her.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Stephen is a philosophical man and enjoys many things, including talking and listening, but as far as I know he has no particular attachment to dominating or being dominated. What he does have is a rather wonderful capacity for describing intense personal experiences in such a way that genuinely 'takes you there.'</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And I suppose why I wanted to publish it today is that I'm particularly interested at the moment in how we perceive things. And how much influence we have over our experience of life.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">What is it that can make something so painful for one person and so pleasurable for another?</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Are we really such powerful interpreters of our own experiences?</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Can we really determine how good or bad something feels?</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And if we can - why don't we do it more often?</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">Have a </span><a href="http://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/2-2-5-the-dialogue-project/id423791414"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ff9966;">listen</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Have a think.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And feel free to let me know if you're someone who's consciously changed the way you perceive pain.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">(Or pleasure.)</span></div></div>Karl James - The Dialogue Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16843924483748865139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4964125166729080600.post-85103131500995216672011-12-31T10:44:00.012+00:002011-12-31T11:16:42.011+00:00thank you<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjROgJkBIDgDWzJjT32BLsOTm13g44QVcl6mzWJsPBTOZXewIZUeXesYNASSUO3whwKlpzjjW4AJ3toIX3pq8f0MnzfMiKxBxjXDu6KNkRvhKWAsbnhzGbeCFrRssBZY0_aMxDR-lCkMEk/s1600/KJ+TRAIN.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjROgJkBIDgDWzJjT32BLsOTm13g44QVcl6mzWJsPBTOZXewIZUeXesYNASSUO3whwKlpzjjW4AJ3toIX3pq8f0MnzfMiKxBxjXDu6KNkRvhKWAsbnhzGbeCFrRssBZY0_aMxDR-lCkMEk/s320/KJ+TRAIN.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5692249256349174786" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRRlb-IeoQGwueG7ogN591HOSUOCJkVQNGSKUU9Soc8mfhXFzXE_NaGBMkzcHYt7nIy8PyUEkSd79yap_RQwulUi7ADv1XITSi-hGb7CWdnQiy55bijhcozZF26BEjQZi6-2JYYKYSohc/s1600/KJ+TRAIN.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><br /></a><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><!--StartFragment--><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">A friend of mine said to me last week: "It's not the choices that are hard in life. Making the choices is easy. What's hard is dealing with the consequences of those choices.</span><div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><span style="font-family:arial;">So if I look back at two thousand and eleven it feels like I should consider not just the conversations I've had, but the consequences of those conversations.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Some of them.<br /><br />A conversation with the new Chair of a big business that ended up with her saying: “Why don’t we just talk to each other in front of everyone, instead of me making a big speech?” And the consequence of her being reappraised by a few people who'd already made up their mind about what she was like.<br /><br />A conversation with an ex TV man who's gone creative and invited me to do something at a brilliant event called The Story. And the consequence of </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;">me making a speech, </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;">instead of having a conversation with everyone. And sharing publicly some of my work that's been kept under wraps for ages. With a bunch of people I’d never met. </span></span></div><div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br />A conversation with a friend that ended up with me not going to Los Angeles.<br /><br />A conversation that ended up with a woman called Lisa grabbing the Prime Minister by the arm and telling him her story.<br /><br />A conversation with eleven other jurors that ended up with someone not going to prison.<br /><br />A conversation with an author in a tent in a field at Latitude Festival that ended up with me realising that sometimes the only work you have to do is to prepare.<br /><br />A conversation with a producer that ended up with me doing a series on the radio.<br /><br />A series of conversations with people all over the country when I tried to share some of my best secrets, which ended up with some of my best secrets being put into practice when I wasn’t there. And loving that.<br /><br />A series of conversations with people about beauty, that ended up with people telling me they’d cried when they heard it.<br /><br />A conversation with a group of women in Reculver WI that ended up with me realising I was mostly telling them stuff they already knew, but that it can be good to be reminded of things.</span></div><div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And lots of other conversations. </span></div><div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And lots of other consequences.<br /><br />So – looking back in order to look forward, from a man who tries hard to have the best conversations possible and who certainly doesn't always succeed, I want to say thank you to the people who’ve helped me have some amazing conversations this year.<br /><br />To be crude and concise: for someone who does dialogue to people, it’s been a year of being dialogued too. Sometimes.<br /><br />So thank you to the people who’ve listened to me. Really listened to me.<br /><br />To the people who’ve had the courage to challenge me with probing questions.<br /><br />To the people who’ve checked they understand what I mean.<br /><br />To the people who’ve balanced my thinking with an alternative way of looking at things.<br /><br />To the people who’ve been honest with me and told me what they’re really thinking.<br /><br />To the people who’ve parked their own agenda and built new things with me, new possibilities.<br /><br />To the people who’ve had the confidence to let things just fall quiet for a while.<br /><br />To the people who’ve shared with me the responsibility to look after the health of the conversation.<br /><br />To the people who’ve had the generosity to temporarily withhold their judgement.<br /><br />To the people who’ve taken the time and energy to consider their words and help me by putting themselves into what they’re saying.<br /><br />And to the people who’ve created time and space. With me. And for me.<br /><br />Thank you.<br /><br />Here’s to a New Year of a little more.<br /><br />With a little less.</span> <!--EndFragment--> </div></div>Karl James - The Dialogue Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16843924483748865139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4964125166729080600.post-34160033013778669602011-10-19T18:46:00.017+01:002012-01-16T16:51:32.670+00:00more reading<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBtRCu1sY_T-XVynSs1NU8JwPVUpV5dRaGBP0SyR_1vyzlqJxh97fC12phaR4RQXEnilYOsmg3nTgE-xlVsEnYFDEbuR5iyQQp9NPbfTIcfRsAdv3UdMrJKGsZbL3oC9REwHMpNFakAkg/s1600/normal+people+blog+clip.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 137px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBtRCu1sY_T-XVynSs1NU8JwPVUpV5dRaGBP0SyR_1vyzlqJxh97fC12phaR4RQXEnilYOsmg3nTgE-xlVsEnYFDEbuR5iyQQp9NPbfTIcfRsAdv3UdMrJKGsZbL3oC9REwHMpNFakAkg/s400/normal+people+blog+clip.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5665275696249172290" /></a><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><br /></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">So this is the second transcription I'm uploading for those of you who like to read your conversations as well as listen to them. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">It's a conversation between Chris and Jacqui called </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33ccff;">normal people </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">and y</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">ou can</span> <a href="https://www.yousendit.com/download/T2dmc0wwdkc5RllsYzlVag"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffff66;">download</span></a> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">it </span><a href="https://www.yousendit.com/download/T2dmc0wwdkc5RllsYzlVag"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffff99;">here</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">.</span></span></span></div><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">As you'll see and hopefully hear as well (if you choose to download and </span><a href="https://www.yousendit.com/download/Y1RyaUNPYSt5UkdGa1E9PQ">listen</a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;"> to it or click </span><a href="http://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/2-2-5-the-dialogue-project/id423791414"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66ff99;">here</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;"> to listen in iTunes) their life has been anything other than normal in some ways.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">This is a conversation between a husband and wife. But it's also a conversation </span><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UaSROey4vA"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#99ff99;">Between Friends</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">, which became the title of the project </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">I premiered at</span> <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/stage/theatreblog/2009/jul/21/latitude-festival-theatre-tent"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33cc00;">Latitude Festival</span></a> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">in the summer of 2009, as part of the</span> <a href="http://www.latitudefestival.co.uk/2010/lineup/artist.aspx.AID=c48f3168-f1c1-41fe-a876-aebdb9eb9c95.venue=The%20Faraway%20Forest.artist=The%20Dialogue%20Project%20present%20Intimate%20Conversations.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffcc;">Intimate Conversations</span></a> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">series. I published the audio shortly afterwards and it's had hundreds of listens since then. Now perhaps it'll have a few reads as well.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">For me, <i>reading</i> this conversation as opposed to listening to it, it's impossible for me not to notice how precise both Chris and Jacqui are sometimes in the words they choose. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Sometimes their precision is at the service of simply being accurate. Like when t</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;">hey dispute where and when it was they first kissed. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;">At other times they're careful to</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"> avoid using words that might hurt each other. The tenderness is often in what they choose <i>not</i> to say as much as it is what they do.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And towards the end, there's a little something they do that tells me just how much they love each other. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And it's in the questions they ask each other. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">They're specific but never precious. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">They're deliberate but never clever.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">But perhaps most importantly, beyond the directness and the straight-forward, down to earth candour that's so easy to hear and even to read, what I most enjoy and maybe if I'm honest even envy them for, is their kindness.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">So thanks Chris. Thanks Jacqui.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And here's to friendship within marriage.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Happy reading.</span></div></div>Karl James - The Dialogue Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16843924483748865139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4964125166729080600.post-84414787315248020642011-10-18T21:53:00.033+01:002012-01-16T16:41:29.527+00:00reading conversations<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDTpvLvbRMw52zQRZ1v1eQnrwgMiQmOUE1wRiDvWFe_hEk9B-va11c07XEglZeJ0-5gdKGKooUSlABTl_sK4K15rcQ44Cj-gzVmD-25TTCFjHG5kOUueyVktjBisIkp4Ub9JnzTDEUOVk/s1600/Adrian+clip+for+Blog.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 174px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDTpvLvbRMw52zQRZ1v1eQnrwgMiQmOUE1wRiDvWFe_hEk9B-va11c07XEglZeJ0-5gdKGKooUSlABTl_sK4K15rcQ44Cj-gzVmD-25TTCFjHG5kOUueyVktjBisIkp4Ub9JnzTDEUOVk/s400/Adrian+clip+for+Blog.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5665260875990299458" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRSVYxsHiFl0vJ9rOAqYpCZbz7X2Gx_3KLRQvA6_Ce-6JMZ5eiYTywGJ4g6xduCeZ4bJ0nPpUtG-nJ7Ze3sza39B5nKkPUCED-flp57Z34Bxd3p-WtwUQE1n6fgWelrq1iVq6K0UrAFaw/s1600/Adrian+Transcription+IMAGE.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><br /></a><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family:Times;font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background- ;font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;color:white;"><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Times;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background- ;font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;color:white;"><br /></span></span></div></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Times;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;color:#ffffff;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Times;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;color:#ffffff;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Times;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background- ;font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;color:#ffffff;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Times;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background- ;font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;color:#ffffff;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Times;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background- ;font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;color:#ffffff;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Times;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background- ;font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;color:#ffffff;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Times;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background- ;font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;color:#ffffff;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Times;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background- ;font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Times;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:130%;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">I'm finally releasing transcriptions of some of the conversations I've recorded, edited and published. </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family:Times;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Times;"><br /></span></div></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Times;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">And </span><a href="https://www.yousendit.com/download/T2dmc0x3aFIzeUxsZThUQw"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffcc99;">here's</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;"> the first. It's the conversation between Adrian Howells and myself. It's called </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffccff;">prepared to love</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">. (You can </span><a href="http://understandingdifference.blogspot.com/2010/07/dear-listeners.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ccccff;">read</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;"> more about the conversation </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ccccff;"><a href="http://understandingdifference.blogspot.com/2010/07/dear-listeners.html">here</a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;"> and download the </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ff99ff;"><a href="http://understandingdifference.blogspot.com/2010/07/dear-listeners.html">audio</a> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">here.)</span></span></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background- ;font-family:arial;"><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background- ;"><br /></span></div>I created and designed t</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;">he audio edit </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;">to be <i>listened</i> to. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;">Obviously. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;">My work is essentially audio. And I'm delighted to say it has been listened to. A lot. It's been downloaded, played online and via iTunes more than a thousand times so far.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">But some people have said they'd like to <i>read</i> some of the conversations I've had. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">So I'm responding to those requests by publishing some of the transcriptions.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">But what started as a way of giving people what they were asking for has become more than that, in two ways worth mentioning. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">First, as I've begun to <i>read</i> the conversations, I've noticed how different they are in visual form. How uninflected. How neutral.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And I'm surprised by how much the written word <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;"><a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/objectify"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">objectifies</span></a> </span>the content. Perhaps I shouldn't be surprised by that, but it's caught me off guard to see how much is <i>missing</i> in the written word that's <i>provided</i> through the audio word.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">But the second thing is exactly the opposite of the first. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">It seems to me that t</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;">he written form </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;">is revealing the content as well as concealing it. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">I've noticed things I haven't noticed before.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">I've seen things I haven't heard.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">I've noticed things about my questions. And their answers. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Missed opportunities. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Seized and unseized moments.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">So that's been interesting. And educational.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">And one other thing that's been interesting for me: t</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;">he spaces in the conversations. And how to mark them. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">When people talk, they often stop briefly in unusual places. In a way that people don't do when they write. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">And sometimes it's in those little gaps people leave (rather than in the words they say) that you catch the mood, the emotion, the uncertainty, the difficulty or simply the choices they make. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;">Those small signals in what's <i>not</i> said that can indicate more sometimes than what <i>is</i> said. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">But the question is: how to mark these subtle spaces in the written form? </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">I don't much like dot dot dot...</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;color:#ffffff;">It makes it look like a drifting away. And often when people pause briefly, it's anything <i>but</i> a drifting or a fade away. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family:arial;">Often the breaks are unexpected. And they certainly don't make sense to read. Not at first anyway. Which is why I think they're so important. There's something very spoken about these written words.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">So I wanted to preserve the breaks. I think they tell the listener that someone needed to stop talking just for a short time, maybe simply in order to say the next thing. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">So, after much thought, I've gone for a slash. A light grey slash.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Like this </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#cccccc;">/</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And it seems to be working </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#cccccc;">/</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">so I'll keep going with that if that's okay.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Finally, I want to say thank you to Miss Molly Grier who's been working on the transcriptions with me recently. Molly and her family have come into my life in a very gentle way this year. Apart from the fact that Molly's intelligence and honesty have been a fresh and lovely influence in the way I think about some of the conversations I've been having recently, she's also been listening and transcribing some of the podcasts for me. And she's doing a grand job. So thanks Molly. You and your work are much appreciated.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">So - enjoy the transcriptions if you're visually inclined. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">Adrian and </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffccff;">prepared to love</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;"> will soon be joined by: </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">Anjelo and </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ff9900;">when saw myself on fire </span><a href="https://www.yousendit.com/download/T2djY05rdkdCTW5FdzhUQw" style="color: rgb(255, 153, 102); ">here</a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ff9966;">. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: arial; ">(Audio on iTunes <a href="http://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/2-2-5-the-dialogue-project/id423791414">here</a>.)</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">Jane in </span><a href="http://yousend.it/why_not_me_part1_transcription"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66ffff;">why not me</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33ffff;">?</span> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">(Audio </span><a href="http://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/2-2-5-the-dialogue-project/id423791414" style="color: rgb(153, 255, 255); ">here</a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">).</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">Another Adrian (a pain doctor) in </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ff6666;">you don't talk</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;"> <a href="https://www.yousendit.com/download/T2djY05pOC9ubVZYd3NUQw">here</a>. (Audio </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: arial; ">on iTunes</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: arial; "> <a href="http://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/2-2-5-the-dialogue-project/id423791414">here</a>.)</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">And Chris and Jacqui in </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffff33;">normal people </span><a href="https://www.yousendit.com/download/T2dmc0wwdkc5RllsYzlVag"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33cc00;">here</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffff33;">. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">(Audio </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: arial; ">on iTunes</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;"> </span><a href="http://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/2-2-5-the-dialogue-project/id423791414"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33ccff;">here</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">.) And you can read more about this conversation on the blog </span><a href="http://understandingdifference.blogspot.com/2011/10/more-reading.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffcc;">here</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Thanks for listening. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And for reading.</span></span></div>Karl James - The Dialogue Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16843924483748865139noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4964125166729080600.post-33095376284430042022011-09-30T07:00:00.019+01:002011-09-30T09:36:20.776+01:00free music<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#cccccc;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCe7u1pnJmbmfOsvL7SimwHyGObxDIWS2B6-0A-IYXlzBjQSKDDsV03VVbBZxD0GcaLAuU0WjnZlxTW9YBuA-wqkAzuU9UW2Lcl14ikTbdn4QZ-5WqxqSMgrnBuOHDD2X_luhMsnK6DJw/s1600/Wide.tiff" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 183px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCe7u1pnJmbmfOsvL7SimwHyGObxDIWS2B6-0A-IYXlzBjQSKDDsV03VVbBZxD0GcaLAuU0WjnZlxTW9YBuA-wqkAzuU9UW2Lcl14ikTbdn4QZ-5WqxqSMgrnBuOHDD2X_luhMsnK6DJw/s400/Wide.tiff" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5658030765004872594" /></a><br /><br /></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#cccccc;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#cccccc;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#cccccc;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#cccccc;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#cccccc;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#cccccc;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#cccccc;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#cccccc;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#cccccc;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#cccccc;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#cccccc;">Sometimes it's worth just putting a bit of good music up and around.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#cccccc;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;color:#cccccc;">And apart from their exceptionally good musical qualities, one of the things I most like about </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;color:#99ff99;"><a href="http://radiohead.com/deadairspace/">Radiohead</a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;color:#cccccc;"> is their refusal to comply with the usual commercial restrictions of the music industry and the media.<br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#cccccc;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#cccccc;">So, after I listened to their recent session on the Colbert show in the States, I thought in the spirit of free access I'd put the audio up on the internet. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#cccccc;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;color:#cccccc;">There's a good dirty version of </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;color:#ff6666;"><a href="https://www.yousendit.com/download/T2djUGhUY1NwTVdVQU1UQw">Bloom</a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;color:#cccccc;"> to warm up with...</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#cccccc;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#cccccc;">Check out two magnificently tight drummers holding the bounce together on </span><a href="https://www.yousendit.com/download/T2djUGhmcGtLVlVzeHNUQw"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ccccff;">Little by Little</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#cccccc;">.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#cccccc;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#cccccc;">We got a bit of healthy contempt in </span><a href="https://www.yousendit.com/download/T2djUGhTZ2c5bEFQWWNUQw"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33ccff;">The Daily Mail</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#cccccc;"> with some saxy chords coming from behind... </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;color:#cccccc;"><br /></span></span></div><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#cccccc;">And finally a fantastic version of </span><a href="https://www.yousendit.com/download/T2djUGhjcklYSHlFQk1UQw"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#cc0000;">The National Anthem</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#cccccc;"> with a nice brass section on it...</span></span></div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#cccccc;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#cccccc;">Download. Enjoy. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#cccccc;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;color:#cccccc;">(And forgive the horrendous amount of compression on the recording - t</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204); font-family:arial;">hat's American TV for you. H</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204); font-family:arial;">ow lucky we are to have Later with Jools and the BBC.)</span></span></div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#cccccc;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;color:#cccccc;">If I get arrested, l</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204); font-family:arial;">ook after my children for me.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#cccccc;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#cccccc;">I did it in the name of music. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#cccccc;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;color:#cccccc;">And freeness.</span></div></div>Karl James - The Dialogue Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16843924483748865139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4964125166729080600.post-58638493868237028352011-08-06T15:18:00.025+01:002011-08-06T17:41:20.994+01:00generous descriptions<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsMzIk4fqy_mv415clxo2hxd4G9ByDfOC75G6CRH85Ab0-hKOwURKExKgzIOjx4l9JMBXdi5PypqE9x29gGr-1WcGq_OQgLoF0s9n2v_U6yOM1iHLEiNLJMQ0Qp-BftyayLpefE_hRnl4/s1600/Anjelo...+.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 292px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsMzIk4fqy_mv415clxo2hxd4G9ByDfOC75G6CRH85Ab0-hKOwURKExKgzIOjx4l9JMBXdi5PypqE9x29gGr-1WcGq_OQgLoF0s9n2v_U6yOM1iHLEiNLJMQ0Qp-BftyayLpefE_hRnl4/s400/Anjelo...+.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5637764521767778898" /></a><br /><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:90%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:85%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:85%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:85%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:85%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:85%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:85%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:85%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:85%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">Whenever I'm asked what makes a good listener, I often end up talking about </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#99ffff;">generosity</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;">.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">But today, I want to highlight the generosity of </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffcc;">describing</span> </i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">well.</span></span></div><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And in doing so I'm also trying to modestly offer something to anyone who's in pain; physical or emotional. Listening to Anjelo has helped me deal with pain. And I'd love it to help you too.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Pain can often be a lonely experience. Because as a listener, no matter how much of our <i>own </i>pain we've been through, we can't actually<i> feel</i> someone else's. We can't. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">As well-intentioned and as nice as we are, we cannot step inside someone's body and feel what they're feeling. We can't even feel <i>where</i> they're feeling it, never mind the level of it, or how debilitating or even depressing it might be.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">So we're destined - all of us - to have from time to time what we'll often call 'indescribable' pain. That migraine or toothache, that torn ligament, or that heartbreak and anguish that hurts us <i>so</i> profoundly, <i>so</i> intensely and it's often made worse by the fact that it feels unshareable. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">So on top of our pain, we get </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#99ffff;">loneliness</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Ouch. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">That can really hurt. </span><div><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">So, today I'm publishing a </span><a href="http://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/2-2-5-the-dialogue-project/id423791414"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffff99;">podcast</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;"> of my conversation with a man who managed to share with me (better than most) not just an account of his pain, but his perspective on it. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">He's called Anjelo. He's a beautiful man. A gentle man. A sensitive man. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And he's someone whose words and voice have been with me in recent times.</span></div><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">In essence, Anjelo's story is all about pain and about how he understands it. Professionally and personally. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Originally from Sri Lanka and after training as a physio in Australia, Anjelo came to London to train as a pain doctor. (Something he was once told he didn't have the right qualifications for.)</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And in London, out of nowhere, he came close to death three times in just a few months. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">First, his lung collapsed on a weekend flight to Budapest. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Then, he had a life-threatening operation to repair the damage in his lung.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Then, as he was recovering, while he was watching a World Cup match on TV in his ground floor Victorian flat in Hackney, a fire-bomb was thrown through his open sash window. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And it landed in his lap. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">(They got the wrong house by the way. It wasn't meant for him.)</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Anjelo's descriptions of what happened and how he dealt with it are extraordinary. Not because they're dramatic and astonishing. But because he takes time to recall - not just for himself, but for me the listener - what actually happened and how he coped with it.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">His language is careful and precise. (That's not unusual in itself.) </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">But what I find rare, powerful and moving is the effect of the </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffcc99;">energy</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"> and </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffcc;">commitment </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">he puts into describing his experience. By dedicating himself to sharing his story he creates both a perspective and a presence, at the same time. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">He remembers <i>and</i> helps me to imagine. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">He pictures <i>and</i> describes.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">He wonders <i>and</i> he questions; <i>with</i> me and <i>for </i>me (us) - the listener(s). </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And because he describes so generously, he makes of me the listener someone who <i>sees </i>it.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">I have my own picture of what happened. You will too if you listen to it. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And I have my own sense of who Anjelo was and now is. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And I have a sense of what he went through on that day and in the subsequent weeks and months.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">I often find myself asking people to put more energy into descriptions. I think we're all of us a bit lazy in that way sometimes. And this is such a great example of what can happen if we really invest more than usual in the way we take someone somewhere they've not been to themselves. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">The listener can become the viewer. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">They can </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ccccff;">understand</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"> so much more richly what that experience might have been like. And as a result they become so much more empathetic. And able to help.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Instead of hijacking a story with their own references like: </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">"Oh I remember when <i>I</i> fell off a ladder..." </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Or: </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">"I'll never forget how much pain I was in when my girlfriend dumped <i>me</i>..." </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Instead, we begin to find ourselves genuinely </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#66ff99;">imagining</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"> what that must have been like. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">For <i>them</i>. Not for <i>us</i>.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And in that moment, we transform ourselves, from merely listening to understanding. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">We can check, we can dig deeper, we can wonder <i>with </i>instead of simply gawking <i>at. </i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">We can </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffcc;"><i>attend</i> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">to someone, instead of waiting for them to finish so we can jump in with our own loosely attached story that we've been reminded of.</span></div><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">So - of <i>course </i>generous listening is important. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">But generous describing is important too. They're connected. They support each other.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And I want to share Anjelo's story because he's probably the most generous describer I've come across. And by describing well, he enabled me to listen well. In fact I felt compelled to listen well. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">So - my hope is that listening to this will encourage anyone who's in pain right now to consider how they share it. Because if we can describe our pain well, I suspect we increase our chances of being heard. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffff99;">supported</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#99ffff;">helped</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">So - enjoy Anjelo if you feel that way inclined. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">You can</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ccccff;"> listen</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"> to it here. </span><object height="81" width="100%" style="font-family: arial; font-size: small; "> <param name="movie" value="http://player.soundcloud.com/player.swf?url=http%3A%2F%2Fapi.soundcloud.com%2Ftracks%2F20555875"> <param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"> <embed allowscriptaccess="always" height="81" src="http://player.soundcloud.com/player.swf?url=http%3A%2F%2Fapi.soundcloud.com%2Ftracks%2F20555875" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="100%"></embed> </object></div><div></div><div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;">(Or via </span><a href="http://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/2-2-5-the-dialogue-project/id423791414"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33cc00;">iTunes</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#ffffff;"> here.)</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">Thanks for listening. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffffff;">And thanks to Anjelo for describing. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#ffcc66;"><br /></span></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'lucida grande';font-size:130%;color:#cccccc;">P.S. I'm aware that many people don't or can't find time to listen to the podcasts I put out, so I wanted to do something I wouldn't normally do and that's publish the transcript of what he says as well as the audio. I'll do that soon. Watch this space.</span></div>Karl James - The Dialogue Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16843924483748865139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4964125166729080600.post-51722985568718325752011-05-14T16:21:00.052+01:002011-05-21T21:58:33.398+01:00altogether better<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbzZr0mYz0DMQoAAVRhGts4KehoBLDmBbDNvhrGHcr1qdheFVLCHWosiIA5GB2H_mT1dARNMlb3zjGbEUuHs1S4dPUWTOqSjBvRGiLoqespKIiMveZHWPk19rmmUNgpylprbeNCxAqkjY/s1600/Smiling+Lisa+.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 339px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbzZr0mYz0DMQoAAVRhGts4KehoBLDmBbDNvhrGHcr1qdheFVLCHWosiIA5GB2H_mT1dARNMlb3zjGbEUuHs1S4dPUWTOqSjBvRGiLoqespKIiMveZHWPk19rmmUNgpylprbeNCxAqkjY/s400/Smiling+Lisa+.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5607718344310362418" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz9yIqQXc1SU7ChfaYlP7Qdb6XLHpwODes_fv3qsrIRCRlmtBzfkTcV3RYKtvBRTZO47qVa0tMV9CBxeUd6cuGBFNwElUEFE-GR8I6nra3yVDoMcc3_sSaR-Oh6ZwIY5Bq93Z7hVml1OU/s1600/Lisa+1.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><br /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4iCCdD6F91tzIdnmQ0rOn8uUhXJn93UrW1x_oPfbqk-U1dV30BZfMflVjdYWJqkwKbwV1int8XB3QyntDAhxmLOuEqdrNGkc_O9ZZL-94elR23Oa3xoyG0BUR-RswHn5_evKsfzmzSqU/s1600/Lisa+2.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><br /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe5t2UWRc_7nNSKqHYldPjRafaX5M_rVEqHKNjJnhTppS7Onfp36sz49nTxMarwy55KirIvKLn78dVDjszVssLEUude0vt2N-5TohK-gx1ZBusxH7QlFMw7e15mSMk0nJp7-AwoAnHdBk/s1600/Lisa+2.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><br /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /><br /></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">If a story's any good, it's worth hearing more than once. </span></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And on Thursday, I heard a good story three times. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I'd been asked to facilitate part of an event where the aim was to celebrate ordinary people who've been doing extraordinary things for others. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">But it was about more than celebration. This was an event about grabbing people by the arm and saying "Look: this is happening. And with the right kind of help, it can happen more."</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">So it was partly about congratulation and reward. But it was about inspiration too, courtesy of some hard core living proof that great and small things are happening every day.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">My role on the day was a simple one: to help a few people tell their stories. But we weren't interested in statistics and set-pieces. What we wanted to create was an authentic, powerful conversation that might capture both the head and the heart.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">A public conversation.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">A conversation that would get behind the facts, the figures and headlines.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">A conversation that might reveal some of the passion and desire and humanity behind the blurb.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">So - I spent the welcome lunch trawling the room, asking people about their projects, their stories and their lives.</span></span></span></div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And in amongst the hundred or so award winners, sat a group of people from a programme called </span></span></span><a href="http://www.yhpho.org.uk/default.aspx?RID=8462"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Altogether Better</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">(Good name. Great people.)</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And to one side and sitting alone was</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span><a href="http://twitter.com/#!/lisacoxHC"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Lisa</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">She looked a little edgy. And a tiny bit overawed by the glamour and elegance of Somerset House.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">After a quick chat with the people running the project, I caught Lisa's eye, sat down and asked her about her story.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"I'm a bit shy." she said. "And I've got a bit of a stammer."</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"That's okay" I replied. "I've got plenty of time. And it's just you and me."</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">(I think I might have smiled at her.)</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"Okay." she said. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And slowly she told me her story, f</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">or the first time:</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I'd been away for ten years /</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">In Canada.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And when I came back / </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I bumped into my abuser.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And as a result / </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I started to /</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Self-harm.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">It took 18 months to get any counselling. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">But I had a wonderful doctor / </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Who said come in every other day / </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Until we get can get you sorted out with someone.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Just check in with us. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Every other day. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">So I did. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And eventually / </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Well / </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I got better. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And now / </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Now / </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I run a group for young women with mental disorders. Day to day life changing things.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">That's how I earn a living. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I'm not on the dole any more.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And / </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I haven't self-harmed for two years.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">A short silence fell between us. I found myself looking at Lisa intently. I think I was looking for clues as to how okay she was or wasn't feeling about disclosing so much so soon.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"That's an amazing story Lisa" I said. "You know that don't you?"</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"I'm not very confident." she replied. "I trip over my words sometimes." </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">She smiled.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"And I have a stammer."</span></span></span></div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I'm sure Lisa did have a stammer once. But I couldn't hear a trace of it. And maybe her sense of confidence wasn't as strong as some in the room, but it sounded to me like it might be ready to grow. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I put my cards on the table:</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"Lisa. How would you feel about telling your story again? To everyone. If it makes it any easier, we could have a conversation about it, rather than you feeling you have to spill it all out. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"A conversation? In front of everyone?"" </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"Yes. In front of everyone."</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">We kept looking at each other. I was conscious of not wanting to push Lisa. But it felt like this might be an important moment for her, to say yes. Or to say no.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">So I told her that I thought what she'd achieved was amazing. And I I told her that I thought other people might think so too; that she might inspire other people. </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I told her that of course it was her choice. </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And then I asked if she felt she might be ready.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Her eyes smiled.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"Try me."</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">So, after some fabulous stories of swimming pools reclaimed, bus-shelters rebuilt and able bodied teenagers learning how to help disabled bodied teenagers, it felt like the moment to give Lisa the opportunity to speak. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">So I turned to her. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Her face was as pale as a sheet.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"Lisa. We were talking earlier weren't we?"</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">She nodded.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"How do you feel about sharing your story? About how you got to be here today?"</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Without a pause, she breathed in to speak. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"Take your time" I think I said. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And she started. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Concisely, gently and with Sheffield steel in her eyes.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I'd been away for ten years /</span></span></span></div><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">In Canada....</span></span></span></div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And I heard the story for the second time, while a hundred people heard it for the first time. </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">But this time - </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family:arial;">towards the end - </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family:arial;">she stopped.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">In mid-flow.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Perhaps I should step in and rescue her? </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Perhaps she'd been too brave. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Perhaps she wasn't ready after all. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I looked back at her again. And it was clear. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">She was ready.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">She was ready. And she was pausing. She was taking her time. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And she'd saved her big line till the end:</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And for two years now /</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I haven't self-harmed.</span></span></span></div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">How to describe what happened next?</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Honestly I suppose. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">The room burst into applause. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Co-workers. Government ministers. Journalists. Bloggers. Tweeters and techies alike.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">If it hadn't been so genuine, it would have been tacky. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">But it wasn't tacky. Far from it. It was one of those rare moments when a bit of something real happens in front of you. And we all knew it.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">But Lisa hadn't finished. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Lisa was on a roll. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">The reception that evening was at No 10 Downing St.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">The famous black door was thrown open to everyone who'd won an award.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Champagne, orange juice and fizzy water flowed. </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Canapes were served while e</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">yes widened at the sight of the portraits, the furniture and the chandeliers.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">David Cameron arrived as promised, shook hands, showed interest and made a heartfelt and witty speech. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">It was all going to plan. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And then, as DC (as he's called at home) began to leave, surrounded by his modest entourage of small neat women, he felt a hand reach out and grab the sleeve of his jacket.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"Mr Cameron?"</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">It was Lisa. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"Have you got two minutes? I'd like to tell you my story."</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And I heard Lisa's story a third time, w</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">hile David Cameron heard it for the first time.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And he listened. And he was respectful in his reply. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And then he had to go. And celebrate his first year in office.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Which left Lisa and me, l</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">ooking at each other, surrounded by astonished guests and No.10 staff. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Her face was beetroot red. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And beaming.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I honestly wondered if she might explode. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">But she didn't explode. She grabbed me with her great big gorgeous arms gave me a hug I'll never forget. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"What have I done?" she squealed.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"You just grabbed the Prime Minister and you told him your story" I said. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"But, I could never have done that before!" she said, tears streaming down her face now.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"Well. You just did it now" I said. "And you did it pretty well."</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Naturally I've asked Lisa's permission to tell this story. And I've also asked if she'll record a conversation with me. And she's said yes. So soon you'll be able to listen to her speak for herself about her experiences and her journey in life so far. Not just about the day in London and to No. 10, but the many, many days that led up to it. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">So for now - thank you Lisa. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">You are an inspiration. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">To me and many others no doubt.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">You seized the day. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And grabbed the jacket of power. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">(And by all accounts you got to sit in DC's chair in the Cabinet Office.)</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And it feels to me like you are well on the way to being truly altogether better.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">An addendum</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I could have started this post by telling you that the event in question was run by</span></span></span><a href="http://www.thebigsociety.co.uk/about-us/meet-the-team/steve-moore/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> Steve Moore</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">, </span></span></span><a href="http://www.thebigsociety.co.uk/about-us/meet-the-team/lucy-windmill/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Lucy Windmill</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> and the brilliant team of people at </span></span></span><a href="http://www.amplified09.com/2010/07/steve-moore-the-ambitions-of-the-big-society-network-bsn/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33FF33;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Big Society Network</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I could have told you the day was all part of David Cameron's passion for the Big Society. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">But I chose not to. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And I wonder how differently you might have read this story if I had. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Or whether you'd have read it at all. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">As anyone who knows me will testify, I'm not a big fan of the Conservative Party (which as a friend recently pointed out to me probably makes me a better facilitator at events like these.) </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">But I don't think I'm alone in disagreeing with most political parties about something important at the moment.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And for me, the idea of a policy that sets out to encourage us to look out for and after others, to be humane, to take responsibility, to act and challenge constructively rather than criticise from the sidelines is something worth beginning. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And that's all the Big Society is. A beginning. And like many beginnings it's having some false starts. Some clumsy articulations. It's being confused with other things. And it's fallen through some trap doors. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">But whatever the ins and outs and rights and wrongs of branding and perceptions, last Thursday was not a day about political parties or government. Not really. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">It was a day when I experienced for myself ordinary people creating change. Here. On these shores, where resistance to change always has (and probably always will be) strong and useful. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Some of the people I met were creating change long before the phrase Big Society was coined. </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">But some people have only just started, like Lisa.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And if some of the change we need is going to come from people like Lisa, who's found the courage to take on her past, learn from the good people around her and transform her new growing confidence into action and helping others... </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I'm up for that. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Because it's altogether better.</span></span></span></div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); "><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;">Altogether Better is run from </span></span></span><a href="http://www.yhpho.org.uk/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCC99;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;">Yorkshire and Humber Public Health Observatory</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;"> who are about turning information into health intelligence.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;">You can read a full list of the fabulously inspiring organisations and individuals who won a </span></span></span><a href="http://www.amplified10.com/bsawards/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#99FF99;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;">Big Society award</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;"> here.</span></span></span></div></span></span></div>Karl James - The Dialogue Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16843924483748865139noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4964125166729080600.post-24921483014859037282011-04-20T23:48:00.030+01:002011-04-27T18:34:06.577+01:00empathy erosion<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaHZzJSYfKN_Xg6Q_sskaDw5I_8Be58ZNCXt6FPXM6o9cTJn4OxxIfDDzNPwng9jKAP8zUDcS40jNHLZ-i_0eL2yyY4ZY4bhyfl043YcuTQ4tV-mwu4TUq_JDMLQ35X-4BBObP71zhTAg/s1600/Simon+Baron+Cohen+-+MRI+scan+small.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaHZzJSYfKN_Xg6Q_sskaDw5I_8Be58ZNCXt6FPXM6o9cTJn4OxxIfDDzNPwng9jKAP8zUDcS40jNHLZ-i_0eL2yyY4ZY4bhyfl043YcuTQ4tV-mwu4TUq_JDMLQ35X-4BBObP71zhTAg/s200/Simon+Baron+Cohen+-+MRI+scan+small.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5597831254100651602" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzQkkJwoApg-ZVVylKexORJq9wOCZiudvrr4mR8NVr_lvQ-ldXGWTk6qt_WV2PQWWPjo1AwnKfy4i0tFRM7Op2AD7387av_MxcMOnESgbREKob1m8NbRCXrO5-bC7nbBwiesTZ2b4nOkQ/s1600/Simon+Baron+Cohen+-+MRI+scan+small.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><br /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(102, 102, 102); line-height: 15px; font-family:'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(102, 102, 102); line-height: 15px; font-family:'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(102, 102, 102); line-height: 15px; font-family:'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(102, 102, 102); line-height: 15px; font-family:'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(102, 102, 102); line-height: 15px; font-family:'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;color:#666666;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(102, 102, 102); line-height: 15px; font-family:'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;color:#999999;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#666666;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Last night I was lucky enough to be at a talk </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">by Simon Baron-Cohen </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">at th</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#999999;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">e </span><a href="http://www.rigb.org/registrationControl?action=home"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33CC00;">Royal Institution</span></a>. </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">And it was a fabulous way to spend 90 minutes on a warm Spring night in London. (What a great Christmas present! Thank you.)</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Professor Baron-Cohen is probably best known as an expert in autism, but he's also interested and works in the field of psychopathic behaviour. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">And in his talk last night, he proposed a fascinating idea: that we should think less about 'evil' and more about 'empathy erosion.' </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">The Professor's latest book Zero Degrees of Empathy </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(255, 255, 255); line-height: 15px; font-family:arial;">is just out </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">(you can buy it</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#999999;"> </span></span></span><a href="http://www.guardianbookshop.co.uk/BerteShopWeb/viewProduct.do?ISBN=9780713997910"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF66;">here</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">) and his talk was one hell of an appetiser for it.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">If you're interested, then h</span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">ere's an </span></span></span><a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2011/mar/27/the-science-of-empathy"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FFFF;">article</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FFFF;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">he wrote in The Observer this March, which will give you an idea of where his thinking is, plus some great stories and examples that will help illuminate his ideas if (like me) you're relatively uninitiated in the science of autism and empathic response.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">So, his content was fascinating. And e</span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">ssentially his key points were three simple ones:</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: normal; "><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCFFFF;">First, our capacity to empathise is on a spectrum. Some of us do it more, some less.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCFF;">Secondly, where we lie on that spectrum depends on how well what Simon Baron-Cohen calls our </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCFF;">‘empathy circuit’ functions. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;">Thirdly, empathy is something we </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;">can</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"> learn. (But it's helped or hindered by the genes we're given.)</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Nothing particularly revolutionary there. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Except that his work seems to be proving these things to be <i>true</i>. These are true things. Not assertions with make-up on to make them presentable. Not hunches that might buckle under any real pressure. These things that we might have suspected were real - are actually real. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">So that got us all thinking. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">And it got us asking some questions too.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Like: if empathy erosion is what allows someone to glass someone else in a pub, then might that same lack of empathy be required (or at least helpful) to be a fighter pilot?</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">And if we perceive (say) a physical disability as a stroke of terrible bad luck and something to be worked with and adapted to and sensitively considered in hundreds of ways, from buildings to social situations, shouldn't we also consider those who suffer empathy erosion in the same way?</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">And is it possible for someone to have their empathy eroded to the extent that their ability to harm or abuse another living being without so much as a flicker of remorse, regard or regret becomes... irreparable?</span></span></span></span></div></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">There were some big old questions knocking around. Which in my book makes for a good night. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">But I found the evening more than just fascinating. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">It felt incredibly relevant to me. Almost personal. I felt moved. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">It got to me. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">The scientist got to me. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">He must have got to me because I found myself afterwards that evening and during the day today re-evaluating what I do and why I do it.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Listening intently, I began (then or now) to realise three things about myself and my work: </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF33;">1)</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> Compassion is becoming more important to me.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF33;">2) </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I am extremely lucky to love what I do.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF33;">3)</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"> I need to work harder if I want to achieve anything like my ambition.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#999999;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">But I'm not going to wang on about that now, because they're thoughts that are forming and need a bit of space. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">And I won't try to distill the content any more here either, b</span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">ecause it's not the </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">content</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> of Professor Baron-Cohen's talk that's got me.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">What's stayed with me more than any of </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">what</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> he said, is </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">how</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> he said it. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">That's what struck me really profoundly.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">This was </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">a self-confessed scientist</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> talking. Someone who believes first and foremost in theory, evidence and measurement. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">But his talk was more than the presentation of a hypothesis; more than a case to be made, proved or disproved.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Underneath his elegantly composed sentences, through the careful poise and structure of the 60 minutes, beyond the sheer meaning of what he was saying lay something else. Something other than logic and layout.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">I listened carefully. R</span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">eally carefully. With my eyes and my ears. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">And I heard and saw that this was a man who cared deeply about the purpose of his work. A man for whom what he was doing had cause, reason and intention. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">How could I tell this? </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">What did I hear? What did I see? </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Perhaps it was just a 'sense' of something? An aura? A romantic notion or self-projection? </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Perhaps it was one of these? </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Bollocks was it. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">I heard and saw some tangible, measurable, scientifically gaugeable evidence that he was a compassionate man.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">I saw the tilt of his head to the side when he was asked a question about restorative justice in Rwanda.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">I noticed the wicked smile that flickered across his face as he considered his answer to a question about whether the English law might be an ass when it comes to dealing with teenage criminals. (My words, not his.)</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">I heard the change of tone in his voice from something gentle and tender to something warmer and richer when he talked about how important it is that we consider how we bring up and socialise children.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">This was a compassionate man. We heard him. And we saw him.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">And I would like to thank Professor Simon Baron-Cohen for lots of things to do with how he spoke, not what he spoke.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Things that inspired me. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">Things that will stay with me, long after I've forgotten which parts of the brain it is where empathy sits.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">I want to thank him f</span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">or his preparation, for his years of hard work.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">I want to thank him f</span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">or</span></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> name-checking all of the people who've worked with him along the way.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">I want to thank him f</span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">or</span></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> crediting everyone (</span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">by name and institution) who's </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">doing any other work in his field that he referenced.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">I want to thank him f</span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">or</span></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> his consideration of the audience and our varied levels of understanding of what is a huge subject.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">I want to thank him f</span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">or</span></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"> being explicit about whether he was answering with fact or speculation.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">And I want to thank him for carrying with him and showing us so clearly that he was more than a man of science, he was a man of passion. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">And a man of compassion.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">So thank you Professor Simon Baron-Cohen. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">You got to me. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">And you inspired me. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#999999;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">P.S. Oh and </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Professor Simon Baron-Cohen, </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I've written to you asking if I can record a conversation with you. </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Because I think you're working with and thinking about something that's truly important and truly a difficult subject to deal with. And I'd like as many people to hear you think aloud about it. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">You're a busy man I'm sure so I'll understand if you don't have time.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I'll be empathic to how busy you are.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I promise. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">But maybe you'll be empathic to me too. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">And say yes.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;">(He said yes. Sort of. I'm working on it.)</span></span></span></div>Karl James - The Dialogue Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16843924483748865139noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4964125166729080600.post-86542811233246648412011-03-11T01:26:00.006+00:002011-03-11T01:51:59.146+00:00placing podcasts<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1wSzTUg40GnRtse3u0RdwjzxDQAWNo1b3OiAhjonH34FgA2Ha7zTUzgmhugqMZPRymlWgOTCjXRqoW7QI7fYloHqv4u2niZMRW-6LFWdKGQfAC80vUX3Mn7ZujCIUmb7bEmw5L70Nj1o/s1600/2%252B2%253D5+PODCAST+LOGO.001.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1wSzTUg40GnRtse3u0RdwjzxDQAWNo1b3OiAhjonH34FgA2Ha7zTUzgmhugqMZPRymlWgOTCjXRqoW7QI7fYloHqv4u2niZMRW-6LFWdKGQfAC80vUX3Mn7ZujCIUmb7bEmw5L70Nj1o/s200/2%252B2%253D5+PODCAST+LOGO.001.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5582634024489763442" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibtUqomcBtcJyj3AFR9q55yfNl4pKEYK4n0Ff7oG7TfJvNfVDLvC_1UG_oTzBxHgnCReHTS0UP68ObP4ZTrjw1Tt0sIhDoU1K7aaxBUdreOEgS1iOBWvCH4NPizaNeZJf_NfjNKt8z5T0/s1600/2%252B2%253D5+PODCAST+LOGO.001.jpg"><br /></a><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">In the name of finding different ways to get all of the conversations that I've recorded and edited in the last few years actually listened to, I'm currently in the process of publishing some of our conversations on iTunes. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">It's an interesting process. Finickety, bothersome and difficult when it should (and could) be so easy. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Anyhow. I'm doing it. </span></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">If you like you can be one of the first to subscribe to our free podcast that we're putting up there just by clicking </span><a href="http://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/2-2-5/id423791414"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF33;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">here</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"> and following the instructions.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">The first two conversations I've put up there are the one I had with Stephen on Listening and then the one I had with Adrian on his first encounter with an escort in a hotel in London. They're both gorgeous, generous men. And while they'll be followed by many others I'm very happy to put these two up first!</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Enjoy - and let me know if you find it easy to listen and subscribe in this way.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">More soon. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;">Thanks for listening.</span></span></span></div></div>Karl James - The Dialogue Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16843924483748865139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4964125166729080600.post-51755669910851651532011-02-26T10:36:00.019+00:002011-03-09T20:31:27.436+00:00test audioboo<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I'm testing the lovely Audioboo on the blog. This is an extended version of my conversation with Stephen on listening:</span></span></span></div><div><br /></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204); "><object data="http://boos.audioboo.fm/swf/fullsize_player.swf" height="129" id="boo_player_1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400"><param name="movie" value="http://boos.audioboo.fm/swf/fullsize_player.swf"><param name="scale" value="noscale"><param name="salign" value="lt"><param name="bgColor" value="#FFFFFF"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><param name="wmode" value="window"><param name="FlashVars" value="mp3Time=10.33am+26+Feb+2011&rootID=boo_player_1&mp3=http%3A%2F%2Faudioboo.fm%2Fboos%2F288494-stephen-on-listening.mp3%3Fsource%3Dembed&mp3Author=thedialogueproject&mp3LinkURL=http%3A%2F%2Faudioboo.fm%2Fboos%2F288494-stephen-on-listening&mp3Title=Stephen+on+Listening"><a href="http://audioboo.fm/boos/288494-stephen-on-listening.mp3?source=embed">Listen!</a></object></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And here it is again, in stereo this time:<br /><br /><script type="text/javascript" src="http://player.wizzard.tv/player/o/j/x/129910698505/config/k-5772697b1a1f040b/uuid/root/height/200/width/400/episode/k-6b5dd72144299051.m4v"></script><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(204, 204, 204); font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">If quality stereo is your thing and you have a nice pair of headphones then download it </span><a href="https://download.yousendit.com/eURBblFFMVhCMTd2Wmc9PQ"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">here</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Thanks for listening.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Oh - and if iTunes is your thing, subscribe to our podcasts by clicking <a href="http://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/2-2-5/id423791414">here</a>.<br /></span></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><br /></div></div>Karl James - The Dialogue Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16843924483748865139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4964125166729080600.post-69103225394390623032011-02-25T09:38:00.006+00:002011-02-26T11:34:00.938+00:00quite magical<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisP7wAKPaiQtJK8J6IuuATYD1AvnNogUG5zwWjyutHXqTPpU9i1WVjnm78vO5At_-WxGEaVxq6JYT2ZVD6VSjF6qfSyniLD_2DnlYI7A8NjEpID_MCL20TgZz5SkRp-_qiPD2rJiNbR8s/s1600/Round+table+table.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 134px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisP7wAKPaiQtJK8J6IuuATYD1AvnNogUG5zwWjyutHXqTPpU9i1WVjnm78vO5At_-WxGEaVxq6JYT2ZVD6VSjF6qfSyniLD_2DnlYI7A8NjEpID_MCL20TgZz5SkRp-_qiPD2rJiNbR8s/s320/Round+table+table.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5577565347131198578" /></a><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div>A week on from the </span></span><a href="http://understandingdifference.blogspot.com/2011/02/story.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">The Story</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">, I thought I'd respond to the requests I've had with a fuller 17 minute version of my conversation with Stephen on listening, in which we talk about freedom, space and silence.</span></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Stephen is one of the gentlest people I know. And his capacity to describe what listening feels like, what it creates and what it gives others is as natural as it is articulate. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Our conversation took place one evening before supper at the second Round Table I ran in France. It's a modest but - for me at least - a rather special conversation. And I'd like to dedicate it to everyone who's ever listened to me. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Really listened.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><a href="https://download.yousendit.com/eURBblFFMVhCMTd2Wmc9PQ"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF66;">Here</span></a></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> it is to download.</span></span></span></div>Karl James - The Dialogue Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16843924483748865139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4964125166729080600.post-83446694747491239972011-02-18T01:58:00.014+00:002011-02-19T23:12:52.163+00:00the story<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbgOBr-DW13LdXmHx096a8iFW96fsC22Z3WV9TX8oFuVxhzbKrpAnd2Ss_PluLkGFPKDlSjtBKhsBoJZij7lQjMowQbFttEGFhgTXmP11p_0EBjTiYZ240m_OmkNNxb0HrW5oKmrOJRTs/s1600/Story+Badges.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbgOBr-DW13LdXmHx096a8iFW96fsC22Z3WV9TX8oFuVxhzbKrpAnd2Ss_PluLkGFPKDlSjtBKhsBoJZij7lQjMowQbFttEGFhgTXmP11p_0EBjTiYZ240m_OmkNNxb0HrW5oKmrOJRTs/s320/Story+Badges.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5574848157582619538" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /><br /></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Once a year, the lovely</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span><a href="http://twitter.com/#!/matlock"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Matt Locke</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">warms the hearts of a few hundred people or so at </span></span><a href="http://www.conwayhall.org.uk/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CC33CC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Conway Hall</span></span></a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">in London with an event he calls </span><a href="http://thestory.org.uk/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF99;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">The Story</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. </span></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Matt asks a select and varied pool of story lovers, practitioners and tellers to share their thoughts on how and why what they do. The slots are 20 minute long. The money raised goes to the bizarre and brilliant </span><a href="http://www.ministryofstories.org/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33CC00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Ministry of Stories</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> And anyone can come along. It sells out. It's a once a year thing. And I'd never heard of it until last Autumn when Matt invited me to be one of the speakers.</span></span></span></div><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">The line-up was a truly tasty one. My slot fell between Adam Curtis (you scared me Adam - thank you) and Cornelia Parker (who stole my power supply - I'm after you Cornelia, but happy to settle for a piece of your beautiful artwork as recompense.)</span></span></span></div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">One of Matt's brilliant (or terrible) ideas is not to video the day. Brilliant because it's a live event and the sense of commitment people had made to be there is part of its uniqueness; terrible because the content was of such great quality and richness that I need to see everyone's session again.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Anyway - last night as a way of rehearsing it really - to make sure I was close enough to hitting the 20 minute mark - I recorded an audio only version. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">So</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span><a href="https://download.yousendit.com/eURDb3BCbEEwVWswTVE9PQ"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">here</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">it is; f</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">or anyone who couldn't be there today and </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">for anyone who was but who wants to hear it again or share it with someone else.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And if you want to see the slides in gorgeous HD along with the sound, <a href="http://vimeo.com/20141340">here </a>they are.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">The short clips of conversation I use in the podcast might be familiar to the small band of people who've</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">occasionally followed</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span><a href="http://www.thedialogueproject.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">The Dialogue Project</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">'s</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">work at the real and beautiful</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span><a href="http://www.latitudefestival.co.uk/2011/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FF99;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Latitude Festival</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">or in the less real (and less beautiful?) worlds of </span></span></span><a href="http://twitter.com/#!/2plus2makes5"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Twitter</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">, </span></span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33CCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Facebook</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">or anywhere else virtual. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">But I've framed up the clips in this</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span><a href="https://download.yousendit.com/eURDb3BCbEEwVWswTVE9PQ"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCC66;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">podcast</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">a bit differently - as examples of my work as a story listener, rather than a story teller.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I loved being part of </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF99;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">@thestory2011</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Thanks for asking me Matt. Thanks for hosting it Margaret. And thank you to Richard, Rebecca, Holly and everyone else who went out of their way to make today such a pleasure for me to be part of. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And thanks to all 400 of you in the audience today for giving such an incredible sense of attention for (what was apparently slightly longer than) 20 minutes.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I'm glowing a little bit with the responses so far. I hope the session was as stimulating to listen to as it was to do.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">While it's fresh: things I want to remember about how I prepared.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">1) I'm glad I rehearsed - it meant I could relax, enjoy it </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">and tune in a bit to the audience.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">2) I'm glad I had my standby Mac in my bag - having a Plan B doesn't make Plan A any less exciting.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">3) I'm glad I had two cups of coffee on the go: one stage left, one stage right. It meant I didn't have to walk across the stage holding a cup of coffee.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Thank you to Billy, Stephen, Chris, Jane and Dan for letting me share your voices with some new people. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And thanks too to the young people whose voices I also used but can't name. </span></span></span></div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">You were heard today.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Lots.</span></span></span></div>Karl James - The Dialogue Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16843924483748865139noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4964125166729080600.post-22528861280086888672011-01-31T20:17:00.014+00:002015-02-26T13:21:31.809+00:00who knew...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbWif2xCUb6l4nj72k_rdrmWii-eoCNAPsUhnKknbAIhvWrFxODQlf4yNu2nULxzOmH0AE2pvO-mBSelSrK92KzhvoHjl6G0RziSYSsAa4Fg9yLg_eSIifHkAY6KCgezkT7rkOth3TzYA/s1600/Treated+BBC.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbWif2xCUb6l4nj72k_rdrmWii-eoCNAPsUhnKknbAIhvWrFxODQlf4yNu2nULxzOmH0AE2pvO-mBSelSrK92KzhvoHjl6G0RziSYSsAa4Fg9yLg_eSIifHkAY6KCgezkT7rkOth3TzYA/s320/Treated+BBC.JPG" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5568453346214512434" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: left; height: 214px; margin: 0 10px 10px 0; width: 320px;" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">So - after an extended lack of blogging. It's time to briefly update things.<br /><br />The picture above is of me on the BBC Breakfast show.</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">(You can watch the video <a href="http://vimeo.com/36470139">here</a> if you like.)<br /><br />That's me. On the red sofa. </span></span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Why? </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Because the ten core skills of dialogue were suddenly perceived as being newsworthy? </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">No.</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Because it was felt that enough was enough and there should be no more trivial conversations on Breakfast TV? That it was time for an in-depth analysis of what it might mean to co-create fresh new alternatives to the stale, binary combat between journalists and politicians?</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">No. </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">It was because the work I'd done for PIzza Express had been slightly thin-sliced by various journalists and I ended up being quoted (and mis-quoted) in newspapers about my expertise in the art of flirting.<br /><br />Yes, flirting.<br /><br />Now, while I'm perfectly happy to admit I enjoy a good flirt as much as the next woman, I've never really considered myself an expert in the field.<br /><br />So, I found it a little odd to be presented as someone who could help people with 'chat up' lines. A little odd, but not objectionable.<br /><br />Harder to take was the perception that it was <i>this</i> skill that I'd spent years perfecting and dedicating my professional life to. (By the way, what a great idea - a company specifically designed to help people flirt. In another life maybe.)<br /><br />But most people who know me - while they might point out that it was only a matter of time before my hobby became exposed - might also know that my passion is for dialogue; for conversations that go somewhere; that create movement, shift, opportunities and new ideas.<br /><br />Creative conversations.<br /><br />Conversations that count.<br /><br />Conversations that create new possibilities, satisfaction and strengthened relationships.<br /><br />(Actually this all sounds very much like flirting doesn't it? Oh well - maybe I'll live with my new label after all.)<br /><br />Anyhow - the good news is that as a result of my unsought after press coverage, I've come into contact with some fascinating people and some new opportunities.<br /><br />So - I have no regrets about appearing on Breakfast telly. Or in any of the newspapers that claimed to have spoken to me when they hadn't. I'm a big boy now and it was good for me to be reminded that I'm as naive as I ever was.<br /><br />On the live shows at least, I got a chance to talk about what I really wanted to talk about and that was good for me. It was good for me to have to be on my mettle.<br /><br />The one thing I <i>would</i> have liked I suppose, would have been to have a little book to point to. A lasting physical reference to the work I've <i>actually</i> been doing in the last ten years or so rather than touring the country helping people to come on to each other. (Read that sentence carefully.)<br /><br />And the good news is (partly thanks to the attention I got), it looks like I might get a chance to make that very thing a possibility.<br /><br />And so, after a 8 weeks of a long serious corporate job, I'm now facing the exciting and slightly daunting challenge of putting into the written word some of the things I've been thinking about and talking about since I started The Dialogue Project, as a direct response to the events of Sept 11th, 2001.</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Blimey - a book.</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />Will it be any good? Who knows.<br /><br />Will it be read by anyone except me? Maybe not.<br /><br />Is it something I want to do? Very much so.<br /><br />I love a challenge.<br /><br />And anyway, at least in a few months time I can sidle up to the fascinating woman sitting in a cafe and casually remark: "Sorry for interrupting you but... I just couldn't help but notice how beautiful your ten core dialogue skills were."</span></span></span></div>
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Karl James - The Dialogue Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16843924483748865139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4964125166729080600.post-58473813610277722142010-10-03T21:06:00.027+01:002011-03-24T11:50:51.335+00:00express yourself<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkE0NPqEpQLL8FSvnBqysQtPTZuOVVT0cb7POqLgBOiuVQXLF5O4HAXwMC4GWVj6bmFiu71WAhtvmuqsKplxLUGp5UhQqVgo5M5I4o_FTp7vu8KkwdS5awoWAbAJZ8S7ANZcbYjJt9zT4/s1600/PE+SKILLS.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkE0NPqEpQLL8FSvnBqysQtPTZuOVVT0cb7POqLgBOiuVQXLF5O4HAXwMC4GWVj6bmFiu71WAhtvmuqsKplxLUGp5UhQqVgo5M5I4o_FTp7vu8KkwdS5awoWAbAJZ8S7ANZcbYjJt9zT4/s320/PE+SKILLS.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5523927888690101378" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Among other things, I find myself right now helping the wonderful people at Pizza Express to launch their new restaurants in a project called Think Big.</span></span></span></span></div><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Why would I be doing that? (Apart from the fact that I love American with extra tuna.)</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Well, believe it or not, Pizza Express have decided to put great conversation at the heart of their restaurants.We started in Richmond and now we're spreading the love of conversation to Fulham, Balham, Newbury, Bournemouth and St Ives with Sheffield, Brighton and Brent Cross to come. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">What Pizza Express have realised is that what people want when they go out to eat is a chance to talk - to really talk and to really </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">be</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> with friends, families, lovers and partners. To embrace conversation; to listen to each other, to celebrate the experience of actually being together. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Not virtually. </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Real</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">-ly.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">They've engaged an incredible team of people including Abe Rogers to totally redesign the physical spaces and make them acoustically conducive to conversation.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And they've asked me to help every single member of staff to understand the essential ingredients of conversation. (They even let me help them develop a new process for deciding who to bring into the team, in one of the most enlightened series of talent assessments I've ever come across.)</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And... (which is for me the most important thing and my barometer for working with </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">any</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> commercial organisation) they actually </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">believe</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> in what they're doing. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Will it help them make money? I hope so - they're an ethical business.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Will it catch the media's attention? Maybe - it's a good story. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Since first writing this post the media attention has well and truly been captured and I am now fully versed in the wicked ways of sloppy journalism and certain people's predilection for fiction reported as fact. Oh well, I'm a big boy, I can take it. Here's a slightly less absurd piece by Reuters:</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" data="http://www.reuters.com/resources_v2/flash/video_embed.swf?videoId=168002354" width="460" height="259"><param name="movie" value="http://www.reuters.com/resources_v2/flash/video_embed.swf?videoId=168002354"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.reuters.com/resources_v2/flash/video_embed.swf?videoId=168002354" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="460" height="259" wmode="transparent"></embed></object></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">So never mind the hype. Does it matter? Well actually yes, in a small way I believe it does. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I can honestly say that this is a business that looks after its people. That values its people. That believes in its people. (The Head of HR started as a waitress.)</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">So - a company of integrity that creates great food, that believes good conversation is an important thing and a business that's putting its money where its customer's mouths are...</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Why would I say no?</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">So - for the new teams - this is your chance to make your mark; to be exceptional; to express yourselves and to be part of something genuinely fresh and imaginative. Grasp it with both your floury hands. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#999999;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And here, in the new language we've created are the podcasts I told you about, to help you get those dialogue skills running through your bodies like oxygen</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">: </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;color:#999999;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><div><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">First,</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF9900;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></span><a href="http://tinyurl.com/2plus2makes5intro"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3333FF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">here's</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF9900;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></span><a href="http://tinyurl.com/2plus2makes5intro"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF9900;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">an introduction</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> to great conversation.</span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> A</span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> big download for a small but lovely animation or you can watch it right here: </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family:arial;font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family:arial;font-size:small;"><object width="480" height="259"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/AJNFOLk9Png?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="259"></embed></object></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Then there's</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33CC00;"><a href="http://tinyurl.com/podcast-timeandspace"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FF99;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Time and Space</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">-</span></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> what we need to create in the beautiful surroundings of the Pizza Express in Richmond. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">The first big skill we talked about was </span></span></span><a href="http://tinyurl.com/podcast-navigating"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Step In Step Out</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">or the way we navigate our way through a conversation.</span></span></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">.Making sure we start and stay together on the journey.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">We talked about using our </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCFF;"><a href="http://tinyurl.com/podcast-listening"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCC00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Eyes and Ears </span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">in the ways we listen.</span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">There's the skill we called</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></span><a href="http://tinyurl.com/podcast-describing"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3366FF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Take Me There</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">- the ways we can describe things to people and enjoy the richness and variety of language.</span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">We talked about how to</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></span><a href="http://tinyurl.com/podcast-checking"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Stay Close</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">, checking that we understand exactly what it is that people are trying to express.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And then there's how to</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span><a href="http://tinyurl.com/podcast-probing"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Dig Deeper</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">, probing gently to open doors and find out more. </span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">There's the skill of asking the question: </span></span></span><a href="http://tinyurl.com/podcast-suspending"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF66;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Who Knows?</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">which is all about keeping an open mind, resisting the temptation to assume we </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">know </span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">who someone is and what they're going to say. Suspending that deep instinct to make quick judgements.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6666;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Don't forget how important it is to</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span><a href="http://tinyurl.com/podcast-building"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6600;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Make It Together</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">;</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">to</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">build ideas and allowing even the most fragile of suggestions to grow and blossom before our eyes.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">We talked about how </span></span></span><a href="http://tinyurl.com/podcast-balancing"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CC66CC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Everyone Counts</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">and how important it is to keep a conversation balanced by making sure we gently ask those smaller voices to take part too.</span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CC33CC;"><a href="http://tinyurl.com/podcast-disclosing"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#99FF99;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Dare to Share</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">is the name we gave to honestly saying what's on your mind (and sharing it). Disclosing what you're thinking to everyone else.</span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And finally, we reminded ourselves that sometimes the most important thing we can give to anyone (including ourselves) in a conversation is </span></span></span><a href="http://tinyurl.com/podcast-pausing"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCCFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Time to Think</span></span></span></a></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Enjoy listening to them. And use them. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Express yourself.</span></span></span></span></div></div></div></div></div>Karl James - The Dialogue Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16843924483748865139noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4964125166729080600.post-49820716791934728792010-09-16T15:55:00.027+01:002012-01-18T01:42:15.676+00:00in parts<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZVdpR-gXz7eETfJMZykRIRDHfq3IyLZ2NkmyTo7OlPrvFhQOfNS6Gy3nUvAEj-AdlGNYJFpXvqU1Z71ZEUkieL__deeGt9045HAppa9svVBIEem7AoQ-ZechD3-yBnUidcDAVSVDuh0M/s1600/words.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZVdpR-gXz7eETfJMZykRIRDHfq3IyLZ2NkmyTo7OlPrvFhQOfNS6Gy3nUvAEj-AdlGNYJFpXvqU1Z71ZEUkieL__deeGt9045HAppa9svVBIEem7AoQ-ZechD3-yBnUidcDAVSVDuh0M/s320/words.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5517562755642565762" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; "><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Georgia, serif;color:#000000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">So today I have finished editing the conversation between Jane Prinsep and I.</span></span></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">(If you want to read Jane's own words I heartily recommend her site </span></span></span><a href="http://splinteredreflections.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF99;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Splintered Reflections</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> to you.)<br /></span></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Jane was raped when she was a teenager and in June this year I went to Switzerland and recorded the conversation we had about that time in her life. And a few other times in her life. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Since then, the first edit of what we called </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF9966;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">why not me?</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> has had many hundreds of listens. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">It's a tough story to listen to but an important one. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">It's about someone who's survived something. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Someone who's learning to be the fullest version of herself she can be. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Most conversations I record comfortably come down to a short edit of around 15 mins. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">But not this one. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">After I first let </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCC99;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">why not me?</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> out of the bag at Latitude Festival this summer, it attracted a lot of attention. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Mostly for very good reasons. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Mostly because Jane's voice is one that people wanted to hear. Because (I think) it's a voice that's capable of bringing hope to anyone whose life has contained some kind of catastrophe; an event from which you might think there is no coming back.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">But there </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">is</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> coming back. Plenty of it. And Jane is an example of someone who knows that's true. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">So - partly because there was so much interest and partly because the conversation was such a rich one, I've now edited it into four parts. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">In</span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></b></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#99FF99;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><a href="http://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/2-2-5-the-dialogue-project/id423791414">Part 1</a></span></b></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Jane describes to me in graphic detail the rape itself. It's not an easy listen, so please if you're not in a robust place, think twice before listening to it. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">But if you are in a robust place and you choose to take time to listen to someone describe an extraordinary event that you've probably never experienced, I urge you to listen to it. Your understanding and appreciation of what it is to be violated sexually will be that much greater if you listen. And that might change the way you consider things in your own life. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">But if you <a href="http://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/2-2-5-the-dialogue-project/id423791414">listen</a> to it - or you can download it </span></span></span><a href="http://bit.ly/why_not_me"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#99FF99;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">here</span></b></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> - you'll hear more than just a description of an event. You'll hear another human being dealing with what she's describing </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">as she describes it. </span></span></span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Change is happening in the conversation. </span></span></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; "></span>And i</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">t's a dialogue</span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> because </span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">that's happening.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">In </span></span></span><a href="http://bit.ly/why_not_me_Part_2"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF99;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Part 2</span></b></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">, Jane talks more about the immediate after effects of what she calls 'the attack'. She talks about her reaction to it. Her decision to survive. Her immediate and unconsidered defiance. She talks about the court case. The moment the perpetrator of the rape was convicted. The moment her eyes met his. And of her collapse in the court room as he left.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And then, she describes the realisation - even as she toasted the demise of the prisoner with her friends and family - that her recovery hadn't even really begun. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">It's a powerful and compelling unfolding of a life beginning again. There are more details of the rape, more things remembered. Almost nothing forgotten. And a sense of a woman talking so clearly about herself that you can hear the way in which she consciously carries her journey with her every day. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Every day. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">You can listen to Part 2 </span></span></span><a href="http://bit.ly/why_not_me_Part_2"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF99;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">here</span></b></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And now today... I'm putting </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCFF;"><a href="http://bit.ly/why_not_me__part3"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Part 3</span></a></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> out into the world. You can download it </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCFF;"><b><a href="http://bit.ly/why_not_me__part3"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">here</span></a></b></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">In a way, this is the most 'listenable to' part of the conversation. The most ordinary. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">In another way it's the most shocking. Precisely </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">because</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> it's the most ordinary. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Jane talks with seering honesty about what might well be construed as an ordinary marriage - is there any such thing? - on the surface. But just beneath the surface, she reveals that there are extraordinary things happening. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Jane describes to me a relationship that's unhealthy, destructive and ultimately doomed to failure but it's a relationship perhaps that many people who haven;t been raped will recognise. A relationship in which one person feels that everything is their fault. The resonance of the rape was ringing into Jane's adult life. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">But again... Jane finds the courage to step out of one place and into the next. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">She acknowledges that her attitude to men, sex and her own self esteem wasn't what she wanted to be. So she moves on... </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF99FF;"><a href="http://bit.ly/why_not_me__part4"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Part 4</span></a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">, is now </span></span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF99FF;"><a href="http://bit.ly/why_not_me__part4"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">here</span></a></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And after starting our conversation by talking about the act of violence that traumatised Jane as a teenager, we ended up talking about the gentleness of childhood and how she now talks to her children.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">There's a short Audioboo </span><a href="http://boo.fm/b185420"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">here</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> where I talk briefly about the title we've given to our conversation - why not me? - and how it's resonated with me personally.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">But now, I just want to say thank you again to Jane, for sharing time with me and for allowing our conversation which felt so intimate and private - to be made public.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Already many people have told us both that just hearing your voice and your 'story' (which of course is not a story but your life) has been an inspiration to people. As life continues to throw its challenges towards you, I wish you all the love in the world. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Let's hope that other people keep thinking. And imagining. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And listening.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And sometimes asking the question: </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF9966;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">why not me?</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div></div>Karl James - The Dialogue Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16843924483748865139noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4964125166729080600.post-50513327934146802292010-09-13T16:46:00.005+01:002010-09-13T17:10:53.731+01:00green thoughts<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3HNHnIjEuz0iozjsKP9NOtJxSxPWtt2fqmd2Hn7hvO-xzDaQgN2L3AJ0cvchFjBIQMm-uE7jld1uRNCj_3t7fxZubKDvvwjmnBahhC59R5HwJVugpdzRu_QPzO1tiN6WkqXFA1G-vwJE/s1600/DSC_0990.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 132px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3HNHnIjEuz0iozjsKP9NOtJxSxPWtt2fqmd2Hn7hvO-xzDaQgN2L3AJ0cvchFjBIQMm-uE7jld1uRNCj_3t7fxZubKDvvwjmnBahhC59R5HwJVugpdzRu_QPzO1tiN6WkqXFA1G-vwJE/s320/DSC_0990.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5516430000882635730" /></a><br /><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I had a very enjoyable day last week working with the good people of </span></span></span><a href="http://www.green-alliance.org.uk/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33FF33;">Green Alliance</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">, a group of (mostly) young men and women - mostly women actually - whose everyday job is to harness the thinking and energy of various partners and help them to bring big green issues to the ears of those who need to listen.</span></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">It all happened at the beautiful location of </span></span></span><a href="http://www.commonwork.org/conference_study_centre.htm"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33CC00;">Bore Place</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> (what a place). </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">It was fascinating and surprising to see, hear and experience how in some ways they're facing some very old fashioned problems. Issues that you might hope were things of the past but in fact are very much things of the present. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">About getting taken seriously. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">About getting an inconvenient truth through to a public who'd rather believe a more comfortable set of reassuring lies.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And how to recognise that while your own environment might be one in which trust, respect and open-mindedness are rigorously and consciously applied... the very people you need to reach out to and create dialogue with </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">may not</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> have the same culture. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">So that makes your job hard. Really hard. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">But it's a job worth doing. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">10,000 times over. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">So - power to your elbows Green Alliance.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And I'm happy to help you again. Any time.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Oh and I promised you all access to all the podcasts on dialogue... </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And <a href="http://understandingdifference.blogspot.com/2010/01/dialogue-podcasts.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#99FF99;">here</span></a> they are.</span></span></span></div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Now go dialogue the hell out of a few people.</span></span></span></div>Karl James - The Dialogue Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16843924483748865139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4964125166729080600.post-62313157176211268282010-08-12T07:48:00.014+01:002010-09-03T20:19:51.649+01:00part 2<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUxPsIwfXhKfINWfQK88p-a0BuUrFL5UN61shHY88K9o28Y6ySidDlIPz_8HYK5396nKu9OAn17bVRqLqlLpWlfi1wW1KjMjEmbZbd_cQ0_fB4GaK5FiDs19dIaDESyJM7-2jqAh-Da0I/s1600/why+not+me%3F+Part+2.001.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 180px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUxPsIwfXhKfINWfQK88p-a0BuUrFL5UN61shHY88K9o28Y6ySidDlIPz_8HYK5396nKu9OAn17bVRqLqlLpWlfi1wW1KjMjEmbZbd_cQ0_fB4GaK5FiDs19dIaDESyJM7-2jqAh-Da0I/s320/why+not+me%3F+Part+2.001.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5504411949581081442" /></a><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">So here's the next part of my dialogue with Jane Prinsep which we've called </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FF99;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><a href="http://bit.ly/why_not_me_Part_2">why not me? part 2</a></span></span></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">You can download it </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33FF33;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><a href="http://bit.ly/why_not_me_Part_2">here</a></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">For anyone who's coming to this new, you should know that this dialogue was part of a series of </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33FFFF;"><a href="http://understandingdifference.blogspot.com/2010/07/dear-listeners.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Intimate Conversations</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">on the subject of sex</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33FFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">that we recorded in May and June, edited in July and shared initially at <a href="http://www.latitudefestival.co.uk/lineup/artist.aspx?aid=c48f3168-f1c1-41fe-a876-aebdb9eb9c95&artist=The%20Dialogue%20Project%20present%20Intimate%20Conversations&venue=The%20Faraway%20Forest"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#99FF99;">Latitude</span></a><a href="http://www.latitudefestival.co.uk/lineup/artist.aspx?aid=c48f3168-f1c1-41fe-a876-aebdb9eb9c95&artist=The%20Dialogue%20Project%20present%20Intimate%20Conversations&venue=The%20Faraway%20Forest"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#99FF99;"> Festival's Fifth Edition</span></a> earlier this summer in the UK. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And so you know what you're getting into, Jane's story begins with a description of being raped when she was 14. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Her story is a powerful one. And in some ways a disturbing one.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">But it's not a story about being a victim. Far from it.</span></span></span></div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And for me it's not just a story about recovery.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">It's about one woman's journey, moving from a time when she had control seized from her in the most horrible way to a place where she reclaims her life, her identity and her future. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Jane is a remarkable woman. I went over to Switzerland to meet her earlier this summer and after lunch by the lake we sat down and recorded a conversation. A dialogue.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Most conversations I record, I subsequently edit down to a 10-15 minutes version and share it with the world. But sometimes a conversation is so rich that it merits more than just a one part. And this is one of those.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><a href="http://understandingdifference.blogspot.com/2010/07/dear-listeners.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCC00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Part 1</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> which you can download </span><a href="http://understandingdifference.blogspot.com/2010/07/dear-listeners.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCC00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">here</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFCC00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">received a lot of attention and downloads and for many people Jane has been already been an inspiration as you'll see by visiting her </span></span></span><a href="http://splinteredreflections.com/2010/07/16/why-not-me/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">blog</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">So here's </span></span></span><a href="http://bit.ly/why_not_me_pt2"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33FF33;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Part 2</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Parts 3 and 4 will come in the next few weeks.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Thanks again Jane.</span></span></span></div>Karl James - The Dialogue Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16843924483748865139noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4964125166729080600.post-79294107150918402262010-08-01T00:16:00.004+01:002015-02-26T13:23:16.004+00:00an audience<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZki8foYXIm_z0mJgj0LTpcz2mjSUYrQIK9mA1-2o9q5XUY98iYWsJ-dN4ix7woZvShJnLjxyqVPTUTnPgFQLmtShM8A8umy5lXs0ICxzAtz9WLb8JvR-frOuNNj3oZLgENs927HNiQzU/s1600/Audience+Talking.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZki8foYXIm_z0mJgj0LTpcz2mjSUYrQIK9mA1-2o9q5XUY98iYWsJ-dN4ix7woZvShJnLjxyqVPTUTnPgFQLmtShM8A8umy5lXs0ICxzAtz9WLb8JvR-frOuNNj3oZLgENs927HNiQzU/s320/Audience+Talking.JPG" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5500213527038643730" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: left; height: 179px; margin: 0 10px 10px 0; width: 320px;" /></a><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">So here I am on the brink of going to Edinburgh Festival, to open a play called </span></span></span><a href="http://www.newsfromnowhere.net/shows/the-author/the-author.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #66ff99;">The Author</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">.</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">It's a brilliant piece. </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">There's genuinely nothing I've ever seen that's remotely like it. </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">The play is about many things. And one of the things it's about is an audience.</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">What does it mean to be an audience? Not just in a theatre - in our lives.</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">When we </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">see</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"> something - when we witness something, when we </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">meet</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"> something, how much of that act are we not just viewing (or hearing) but </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">creating</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">? </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">In a world of beautiful things like hope, love, care, tenderness, richness, curiosity, pleasure...</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">How responsible are we for making these things happen? In our every day behaviours? In the way we choose to say hello to the stranger we bump into? In choosing to thank the bus driver? In choosing to smile at someone because we think they're beautiful or brave or simply present?</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">And in a world of terrible things like terror, fear, violence, despair, illness, depression, war, rape and child abuse... </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">How responsible are we for making </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">these</span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"> things happen? In our every day behaviours? Not just in what we choose to do, but also in what we choose </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">not </span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">to do? In our choice to ignore the loneliest looking person in a room. In choosing not to ask the question we know might need asking? In our choice to </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">not </span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">see what is staring us in the face?</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">It takes courage to participate. To be with others. To truly be with others. And ourselves.</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Every one of these questions is inside the body of </span></span></span><a href="http://bit.ly/dBE5Eb"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: yellow;">The Author</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">. </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">And every one of these questions has come up in rehearsals for The Author. Some very unexpectedly. But all the more keenly. </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">So - if you fancy a bit of sensory deprivation, if you want to sit back and let the actors entertain you, if you fancy a night off... </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Don't come and see The Author.</span></span></span></div>
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Karl James - The Dialogue Projecthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16843924483748865139noreply@blogger.com0